C H A P T E R 35

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Years pass you by

Like leaves in the wind

Things happen

Life changes

But

Nothing changes

Not really

C H A P T E R    35

*Two years Later*

I sat on the swing, Jess by on the one next to me, holding hands in between them. We sat there, in silence and slowly moved backwards and forwards. We were leaving for London, to go to college. Jess was nineteen, I was eighteen, nearly nineteen, and our life was just beginning. The past was the past, and though I still thought of Levi, Josh, Liam, and Daniel, although sometimes I still had nightmares about my father, this time, Jess was there to comfort me, hold me, tell me it was all going to be okay. Now, I had a reason to live, I had Jess, Sarah, James, Lilly, Sam and Emma. I had Hazel, Chelsea's little girl, who Jess, James, Lilly and I often cared for.

So although I still remembered new things, received notes from my father’s prison, I ignored it all. Soon I would be moving anyway, to London, my address would be changed, and the letters and notes would stop. Occasionally I would feel a strange sense of guilt on my shoulders, about the death of Josh, because if it hadn't been for me, he would still be here, laughing with us. But he wasn't, there was nothing I could do about it, and anyway, it wasn't my fault, not really, I didn't pull the trigger, I wasn't crazy, not like Liam.

The papers were full of it for weeks afterwards, I could go nowhere without pictures being taken of me, to everyone I was That Girl. The girl that was once a mute, the one who's father was abusive, who's boyfriend was killed by his brother. The one that was pregnant with her rapist's baby. The one that was nearly killed by a bullet, who's friend was killed by one. I was That Girl, and there was nothing I could do about it. But I had Jess, and all the rest of them.

Jess and I were going to London College of Arts in September, and it would be a new start, just Jess and me. II promised Lilly I'd email every day, and that I'd call and text Em at least once a week. Jess had promised the same to James and Sam. It wouldn't be like before, maybe that was for the better. We'd make new friends, meet new people, and keep in contact with our old ones.

And so Jess and I sat on those swings until seven thirty, watched as the last of the summer sunlight dimmed, and faded, and walked slowly home to Sarah, and the cottage for the last time.

Life was changing.

But I knew that for better or for worse, Jesse would always be there for me.

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