Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 5

Jai soon got to mine, along with my Gina and Lindsay.

Me and Luke were still upstairs as Jai came running up. He walked in to see me sitting on my bed watching TV, and Luke on the sofa on his phone.

"Hi twat face" he said to Luke as Luke raised his middle finger and waved it around in the air.

"Hi April" he said as he sat on the end of my bed.

"Sorry about leaving you with that over there this morning I went to the gym" he said.

"It's fine"

I sat down with a long baggy jumper on and shorts and I could feel a irritation to my arms. What was it? Then I realised. I hadn't cut. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the irritating set in my mind. But I couldn't.

"Be back in a sec" I said running out and slamming the door behind me.

I ran so fast to the toilet, it was stupid.

I opened the door and shut it a bit more quiet that I had with my bedroom door.

I opened up the cupboard and opened up all of my stuff and found my blade hidden well inside some empty blusher pot.

I sat down on the bathroom floor and raised up my sleeve.

I shut my eyes really hard and, started cutting my skin.

The blood was pouring out as I felt a huge release.

My breath quivered, as I cleaned the blade resting my arm under some cold water before putting tissue on it, and added pressure onto it to stop the bleeding.

Finished.

I walked out and went back into my bedroom.

I was met by two sets of eyes.

"Are you okay? You look really pale" Luke asked.

I faintly smiled and nodded.

They didn't seem to believe me though.

"Honestly" I added.

I sat down again as Gina called up that we all should start getting our beds and stuff ready.

Luke and Jai walked out to go get changed in Lindsay's room. I made a bed either side to mine.

I got a film ready for when they came back.

I got into my lovely fresh bed and laughed to myself as the boys had to sleep on the floor.

I still wasn't too sure around any of them yet. Yes I may have kissed Luke but I didn't know any of them ATALL.

But I guess I'm going to have to as I'm sure ill be spending alot of the time with them.

The boys came back in and smiled at their beds laughing as they climbed in them.

We started to watch the film, and jai soon fell asleep before all of us.

We all lay in silence.

My jumper was rubbing against my wrist, and it was killing.

"Can I sit up there, I can hardly see"

"Yeah" I said sleepily.

He climbed up and got under the covers, as our body's were apart from each others still.

We watched the whole film, as I turned of the TV. The room was pitch black and Luke hadn't moved out.

"You know I said maybe ill kiss you again" I heard him whisper.

I smiled.



"Yes"



"Maybe"

He said before I felt a body hover over mine.

"Maybe what"

"Maybe now" he said.

He grabbed my hand and placed it around his neck as he started to slowly kiss my lips, harder and harder his kiss grew as I ran my hands through his hair.

His body dangling near mine, his body collapsed next to me our kiss slowing down and lasting for a while.

It was perfect.

Perfect.

Luke pulled away.

"Goodnight" he said, as he kissed me once more.

"Remember. Don't tell anyone" he added as he climbed down off the bed and back into his laid on the floor.

"Okay...night" I said.

I looked up at the ceiling and had the biggest grin on my face.

Ever.