Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 68

"Maisy?"

She tried to smile; she sniffled as she wiped her tears.

"Hi" she said softly.

I literally dropped everything and pounced on the bed.

I gripped her so tightly I thought she was going to explode, she was just what I needed.

I was so shocked to see her.

My mouth agape as I pulled back, examining her face,

"Surprise" she said wiping her face again.

"Oh my god, I-I can't believe you're here"

She lent her head down and hummed, slightly coughing.

"What happened to you?" I said really worried on how she got like this.

"I could ask you the same" she laughed pointing at my face.

"We're matching with bruises and cuts" I chuckled.

After there was a silence as she knew she had to answer my question,

"Charlie"

I knew it.

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An hour later me and Maisy lay in bed with a film on in the background and ate ice cream as I listened to her explain what had happened.

"Well, basically we got into a argument about him always texting other girls and do you remember Lilian? Yeah well she told me that he tried to you know? 'Do it' with her" she said using quotation marks with her fingers,

"And I was obviously mad so when we got back to his from this party, I said something to him and he just went wild. Smashing my face against the wall, hitting me, spit on me once too! The cheek. But he kicked me in the face when I was on the floor; grabbed my face really harsh and just kept pinching my skin, then I must have passed out, but because of the screaming the police were called by Jim and Mia, his neighbours, and apparently he was stomping on the side of my face and I was knocked out, god knows what else he did"

She shoved another mouthful of icecream in her mouth.

"Shit, Maisy. Why didn't you tell me I was at the boys last night, I would have come home"

"I only got released this morning from hospital, but no way was I going to go home, to- her" she said.

"Maisy, what are you going to do?"

"Well. I was wondering if I could sleep here for two nights, and then I'm moving to my nan and grandads, in Sydney"

Her words made my whole stomach fall to the pit.

"SYDNEY" my eyes welling up.

"We will never see each other"

"Yes we will" she said her face shooting towards mine,

"Your birthdays coming up, I'll be here for that don't you worry, I'll be back to visit, maybe you can come and visit me in Sydney. Sleep there for a while"

I sighed at the thought of my birthday.

They'd never been good for me, my parents well mum did always get me something, which was something nice. I'm not saying she was an awful mum but it was after my 16th she turned. That's when the abuse started.

Now in three weeks, I was turning 17, which I was dreading.

"I really am not looking forward too my birthday Mais" I told her honestly.

"Why on earth not?"

"The boys, Gina and Lindsay will make such a fuss, it's too much hassle"

She looked at me blank,

"After everything that's happened to you this year, being beaten, abused, neglected, nearly killing yourself and how you've been beaten again, and you need to tell me why! And your dads in prison, please be happy, you really deserve it" she stunned.

I smiled at her words,

"Ahh, I don't know. Maybe I'll just celebrate it with you and Lindsay, the boys don't have to know"

"But they have the right. Their your friends, please April...Anyway, so you still talk to these boys?"

"Well yeah, I'm actually heading of to LA with them in two days"

She smiled faintly.

"That sounds cool, are you exited?"

"Yes" I said blankly. I was still feeling depressed having someone who knew me inside out was also good too. I know the boys know almost everything about me but I didn't really know everything about them.

"Well that's settled, you'll go to LA come back and then wait a few days and I'll be here. For your birthday, I can spend a few nights and then I'll go home" she said getting exited before wincing in pain and holding the side of her cheek bone.

"You okay?" I asked concerned.

She nodded before eating some more ice cream looking at the TV.

"So what are you going to about Charlie?"

She looked down, and laughed.

"Well madly. I'm still so much in love with him; I know it's wrong but I do" she said throwing her hands into her lap.

"I hate how much I love him"

"But he-"

"I know, that's why I'm here. A break, I need time to think it over April. If we get back together, I might just move back to Melbourne in a couple weeks, instead of staying in Sydney when I go"

She sounded so weak, something I had never seen her like.

She was always a feeble and strong minded person, who never let any body hurt her or drain her and now here she was back, hurt and broken.

"Right get up, get ready" I said slinging myself out of bed.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Well there's no point us laying in bed feeling sorry for ourselves, crying and moaning. Let's go do something...cinema perfect. Yes we may be beaten and bruised but fuck it. We need to smile and enjoy the time while your here now get up and get ready" I said walking around my room grabbing makeup and clothes.

I looked back and Maisy grinned at me widely.

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Lindsay had dropped us off at the cinema as Maisy got out first and I turned back to Lindsay who was tapping on the wheel, she sent me a small smile.

"Have fun, I'll pick you up. Let me know what time it finishes" she said as I nodded.

I went to walk back until Lindsay quickly said,

"Oh and April..." She whispered "Look after her" she told me.

"I will"

I then shut the door and walked beside Maisy, we swiftly walked in and looked at what films were on even though we had a film in mind.

We walked over to the counter, and asked for two tickets to see our film; then ordering a large popcorn and one coke and one lemonade.

We then handed our tickets in; walking down the red corridor to our screening we walked silently inside and took our seats.

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LUKES POV

After a long day filming with the boys, I was laying on the sofa editing.

Me and April hadn't spoken all day, she didn't drop me any texts or phone call.

I fished my phone from my pocket and clicked on her contact and held the phone to my ear, it went straight to voicemail.

Why would she turn her phone off?

I then text Lindsay and simply sent,




TO: Lindsay

Is April okay? Her phones off X




She didn't take long to reply and quickly sent back,



FROM: Lindsay

Yeah she's fine love she's just busy x



I locked my phone and sighed, who on earth or what on earth could she be so busy with, maybe it's something private. But what about if she's hurt?

No. Surely Lindsay would have told mum, or one of us.

As my brain wracked in a mess, I felt so alone.

I knelt my head back and sighed,

I felt a tear brim up in my eye which I was unaware of why,

But for the first time in a long time,
everything had built up and I just cried.

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