Self Harm, Depression & The Janoskians

Chapter 51

A weight lifted from my body, I felt light.

He struggled as the officers cuffed him and took him away as he moaned at things as they guided him through a door.

I then stood up and ran to Lindsay, as she jumped up and grabbed me pulling me in and scoffing me into a hug as she breathed with excitement.

"You did it babe. You did it. You did so well, I'm so proud"

I cried while laughing onto her shoulder.

I was overjoyed.

Lindsay grabbed my hand as we quickly wanted to get out of this place.

Charging down the hall smiles were ok everyone's faces especially Linds.

I wanted to leave before I saw my mum or anything so I asked Lindsay to get us out and quickly.

He nodded her head and turned back to speak to Gina as we all walked to leave the court.

When we were out Lindsay told me she was going to have a cigarette and that I should wait in the car.

I nodded as she walked off. Everyone got in cars which they wanted to be in me Jai Luke and Beau were all in Lindsay's car now waiting for her to return.

When we all got in we all sighed in relief.

"You did really well April" Beau said from the passengers seat in the front.

"You did too" I replied.

He really did well. He explained the whole nights events and how it's affected me and others around me and his opinion on why he should be locked up.

"I can't believe that he went to hit you, did he get you?" Jai asked.

I glided my hand along my cheek.

"He only knocked me. But Luke got up and bloody went for him" I laughed as everyone laughed back.

"Thanks for that by the way" I said to him as he smiled.

"I'm so happy he's locked away from you" he exclaimed.

"So Skip is pretty settled on getting fucked up tonight. What do you lot wanna do?" Luke asked everyone.

"I'm up for it" Beau said.

Jai nodded too.

"I am" Luke stated.

"I'm not really up for drinking. But I'll join you all"

"Well were drinking at mine. I think mums going to yours and coming home later anyway" said Beau.

I was still overly happy with today's out come, he was finally locked away and I didn't have to be scared thinking he could come and get me whenever he wanted to.

Lindsay then came towards the car holding her keys looking around and jumping inside.

"Alright?" She said grinning when she got into the car.

We all nodded.

"I'm so fucking happy...excuse my language. But I am, he's gone now April" she said as she started to drive.

As I smiled widely I felt Luke's eyes burn into my neck.

I turned my head and he quickly looked away.

I smirked as I looked out of the window.

"So April about LA" Lindsay said.

Which made my head spin around.

"We're booking you a ticket tonight along with booking all the boys tickets. Me and Gina are taking care of it" he said.

"Really?" I said surprised.

She nodded.

"Yes!" Jai said.

Another thing to be happy about.

I felt Luke looking at my neck again and I couldn't help but wonder why.

I turned my head to him as he looked up to my eyes. He let out a big grin and laughed. Why was he staring?

"Thank god your coming LA"

"I can't wait" I told him.

I really couldn't either two weeks away from Melbourne to clear my mind and celebrate the happiness of the events.

"April we need to make you a new twitter" Beau said.

"Ahhhh alright" I said.

I know millions of people have twitter but with my messed up past I never really had the chance to get into it.

Once we got to the boys house Lindsay dropped us off and then told us she was going home.

All the other boys got dropped off and Gina left too.

We made our way inside as James and Daniel grabbed there bags.

We all chilled on the sofas, I needed a toilet and a shower.

"I'm going to have a shower" I told Luke.

"Okay babe" he replied as his eyes slowly shut as he must have been sleepy.

I made my way to the boys room and grabbed something comfy for me to wear, and I also grabbed a towel.

I padded down the hallway and opened the door to the bathroom.

Turning the shower on, I went to the toilet and then undressed.

I slipped my clothes off and let down my hair looking in the mirror my face looked awake for once.

I climbed into the shower, letting the hot water run down my body as I soaked my hair and cleaned my body the heat radiated me as it relaxed my body into a state of thankfulness. I was so thankful for everyone who has supported me.

Turning my arms around and looking across my body at cuts and scars I let a tear drag down my face as it was upsetting to look at.

I can't stop though.

But I was also happy that the man who had made me start cutting was now locked away and gone for some time.

I couldn't help but think about my mum too, the fact she was in rehab and overcoming her addiction, she was trying to get better but I was happy here and didn't want to ever go home.

I squirted some shampoo onto my hands and rubbed them together washing it into my scalp, then rinsing it out closing my eyes and bending my head back.

I then repeated the same thing with conditioner.

I let the water then flow over me as I embraced and ran today across my mind again.

I then decided to get out as my wet feet hit the floor I wrapped a towel around my body and then brushed my teeth.

Rinsing and drying my body off I then got into the comfy clothes.

I opened the door and went into Gina's room and dried my hair as she said I could use it whenever I needed too.

Once dried I used her straighteners and did the rest of my hair, and then turned them off and walked back out into the living room.

The boys had now got there beers and vodka and was drinking.

I sat down in between Luke as Daniel as Luke turned his head and looked at my neck again and I could feel his eyes looking at it.

I decided to ignore it and pretend I couldn't feel him doing it so I pretend to move my hair and put it infront of my neck.

He looked then away and grabbed his beer.

"Sooooooo" James said.

"Sooo" Jai mimicked.

It felt very tense and awkward in the room for some reason.

I didn't know why.

Luke downed the rest of his beer.

"So who's looking forward to LA now Aprils coming?" Luke said as Daniels eyes widened.

"You can come?!" He said smiling.

I nodded.

"It's going to be fucking sick! I can't wait" he said.

"Me too" I replied.

We then spoke for an hour with no awkwardness about the trip and how exited we were about it.

After a few more hours of the boys drinking they were all going crazy.

"I'm going clubbing I wanna dance" Beau said as he stumbled up trying to keep his balance.

"Me too" said all the boys except from Luke.

"So you two aren't coming" Jai asked.

"Nah, I haven't drank and I want a quiet night in. Get my head around things" I said as Luke slurred he couldn't be bothered.

The boys then all attacked me with hugs and told me they loved me as I held them and told them the same back as I laughed in the process.

The smell of alcohol burning my nose.

They all then said goodbye again before dancing there way out of the door.

As soon as they did Luke got up and then stood infront of me.

I watched him as he then lent his body over mine.

Leaning down he grabbed the side of my face and turned it around, so my neck was in perfect line with his eyes.

I gulped as he just ran his fingers over my skin.

"I've been waiting all day to mark you" he said as he lent down even more his alcohol packed breath trickling warm air on my skin.

He lent his lips down on my neck, grabbing a piece of my skin between his teeth as my breath hitched, he then kissed it letting the skin go.

"Please let me give you a love bite" he pleaded.

He slowly kissed my neck again.

"O-okay"

As soon as I said yes his teeth grabbed the skin forcefully and lent into my neck sucking at it making my body fall into a pit of somewhat loveable pain.

His tongue tracing small circles around it before he bit and sucked again as my eyes clenched together.

He pulled away wiping it with his thumb.


Examining his mark.



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