Let It Snow (Bleach Fanfic)

Tearing Heart

 "How did I end up in this mess?" Bazz-B watched Toshiro simply continued to stare at the ceiling as the woman said something about getting the young taicho to eat from the trey of food next to him. "I've become a damn babysitter. No way am I going to force him to eat anything."

Hanataro finally left telling them both he would be back if they needed anything. Bazz-B stood up to leave at that point. He felt a bandaged hand reach out to grab the sleeve of his uniform and he looked down. "What?"

"Please stay."

The teal eyes of the boy appeared distant. Bazz-B let out a sigh. "I thought I already told you I'm doing this for self-centered reasons."

"I know. I can't blame you for not wanting to put up with me. I wouldn't want to put up with myself with the way I always mess up. I can't blame Matsumoto for not wanting to see me if she wakes up either. Still..." The pause in the boy's voice caused the man to look down to see the boy's eyes close. "... I don't want to be alone."

Bazz-B stared at the young taicho as he tried to figure out what the boy meant. "What do you mean she doesn't want to see her?"

"Isn't that why she's not waking up isn't she?"

"You're a self-masochist aren't you?" Bazz-B yanked his sleeve away from the boy only to regret his action when Toshiro's face twisted up with hurt. "Hell. What am I supposed to do?"

He watched the young taicho turn onto his side so he didn't have to look at the male Quincy. "Just go."

"Oh. Because you figured I care more about her then I do you? I honestly don't get ya, ya known. What exactly do you want from me?"

"Don't know. I really don't know what I want anymore."

The man pushed his lips together and regretted the fact he couldn't fold his arms across his chest. "Question for you. Do you have some kind of death wish or something?"

Bazz-B watched as Toshiro's bright teal eyes blinked a couple of times before the boy turned over to look at him. "Do I want to die? No. Doesn't change the fact I should be dead, and I've honestly outlived my luck. Doesn't change the fact I steal other people's luck like Matsumoto's."

The man looked down at the child taicho turned back over onto his side to look at the window. The Quincy quickly kicked out at the bed leg and the young taicho jumped slightly. "You're just afraid. You're damn afraid."

The boy turned over to look at the man and tried to push himself up. The pain in his hands made his attempt unsuccessful and he fell back with a groan. "Of course I'm afraid! I don't want her to reject me! If I show my face in front of her that's exactly what's going to happen if she wakes up! I seriously messed up during the war with you Quincy! You of all people should know that!"

"I'm not actually one to talk about messing up during that war." Bazz-B looked over at the table as his bottom lip rubbed against his top teeth in frustration. His eyes saw the necklace sitting on the table on the trey, and he scooped the item up.

"Are you going to return her necklace?" Toshiro's head turned to the side so he looked away from the man instead of in the eye. "It's her good luck charm."

"No. I'm not going to return it to her. You are."

Bazz-B watched the young taicho turn to look at him. The teal eyes revealed a distinct confusion on the part of the young taicho. "What do you mean I'm to return it? It's her good luck charm. And in case you haven't noticed I can't walk right now."

The man flicked the chain over a peg sticking out of the wall and let the necklace hang down over the boy's head. "Right now this is your good luck charm. The real good luck charm of hers is you."

Toshiro's eyes widened with excitement, but then hurt appeared. "You're just trying to patronize me aren't you."

Again the child taicho's head turned so he didn't have to look Bazz-B in the eye. The man leaned over placing a hand on the opposite side of the boy to support himself so he wouldn't fall over as he lowered himself to whisper into the boy's ear. The Quincy male could hear the youth draw in his breath tightly and felt the child's rieatsu flare with fear. "The only reason I knew you were in trouble was because she woke up briefly."

Bazz-B pushed himself away, but a small hand reached out to grab his sleeve again. "Wait. Matsumoto, did she really wake up?"

The man heard the pain in the boy's face and yet refused to turn around to look the young taicho in the eye."I don't know. For a brief second she was awake, but I don't know if it was a fluke because you were in trouble. I've got to go and see."

"Do you promise you'll come back?"

The man turned to look at the boy. "Why? Despite the fact you put on a brave face it's rather obvious you're either afraid of me, or you don't like me."

"I really don't like being alone. I would rather have Matsumoto."

"And you're a captain?" The man let out a sigh before running his good hand through the hair on his head. "I'll think about coming back."