Gone

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

The morning had been eventful to say the least. First, Holly faints, almost gave me a life threatening heart attack and then freaking out and crying into my arms. Not that I minded, but the sudden closeness had made me feel extremely awkward. Then, my mom being rude to both of us even though I was used to it. It was embarrassing for her to be hung over in front of a friend.

Finally the little conversation about Lily, who was my best friend in Georgia. We'd met at the beginning of high school and she was the only friend I'd let close enough to me to meet my parents. She was actually my first girlfriend too, I had said I was bisexual in middle school, but I'd never actually dated a girl.

Lily had told me she had feelings for me just before school started our Junior year. I'd had the same feelings for her and boom, we became an official couple.

I'd named my car after her because I'd gotten it while we were together and she made me promise to name something after her since she'd named her new dog Ash. Me- being the sucker I am- agreed and now I just couldn't find it in me to rename the car. I couldn't bear to think what Lily was going through consider her dog was named Ash and you couldn't really change the name.

At one point Lily and I thought we had all the time in the world. We planned on going to college together at NYU and renting an apartment. Until, a few weeks before my family was scheduled to move; we'd gotten into a fight that ended up breaking us apart.

For those two weeks before I left I found myself wishing I wasn't a coward and had just gone over to Lily's (she lived just down the street) and apologized for what I'd said. But I found myself arguing back that it was better to just keep it the way it was and that she'd said some mean things too. So why did I have to be the one to suck it up and apologize?

Because you loved her, idiot, you should've just said so and things would've been fine, that stupid irrational voice in my head whispered it's opinion once again. Wasn't it that voice that had gotten me into this friendship with Holly? I couldn't seem to be able to pull myself away.

I didn't love her, I reminded myself. Sure you didn't, what was it then? Just a whole year and a half of your love and affection down the drain? Was it for nothing?

I felt myself start to cave at the voice, it was right, I did love Lily and I didn't know what I was going to do when I had to go back to Georgia for winter break. Would I see her? What would I say if I did?

Stop thinking about it, you'll figure it out later. Right now, you're with Holly. Enjoy it.

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the directions Holly was giving me. My ex was not going to ruin my day.

"So what do you want to do?" Holly asked, bouncing out of the car and leaning against the hood as I slowly made my way out, grabbing the backpack I'd stocked with snacks and water, just in case, I didn't want to take any chances.

"Can you relax? You're making me a nervous wreck with all of your hopping around. I feel like you're going to keel over any second," I warned, feeling my heart beat already quickening with the remembrance of the moments when she'd fainted.

Holly rolled her eyes and for a split second she looked like one of those conceited pretty girls. But, what came out of her mouth was anything but conceited, "Relax, Ash, I'm fine. I promise you I am."

I shook my head, trying to believe her. "Okay."

"OMG SWINGS!" She shouted and ran over to the swing set. The few people that were there with their children giving her a curious look before smiling and shaking their heads.