this is where it all begins...

Feeling Down...

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a teenage girl going to college for free, I live in a middle class home in America. I'm not that bad off, but I still feel down. 

My dad's family sucks ass, and even though my mom's family loves me and wants to see me succeed, I just wish I had a total family unit. 

My boyfriend is too busy with his damn video games (I support him and his YT channel, don't get me wrong), and I feel I come like 10th in his priorities, when I used to come at least like 2nd. 

It sounds so stupid, and so...angsty, but I don't really care. I love my classes, and I love I'm succeeding, but I hate feeling like I don't belong anymore. 

I made a new friend the other day, and that's great, but...even then I can tell he's not that into talking to me. We had a great Skype conversation the other night, and when I hit him up to do it again tonight, he says he's busy. I get it...I do. I just wish I had more than one friend where I'm living. 

I can feel myself falling into the depression I hate, and I don't want to go back to that place. I keep watching vlogs on YT, and everyone seems like their lives are so together, and that they're in such good places. Obviously it's all what they want us to see, but...I can't help but feel down about my life. 

I've decided in the last week that I'm going to work really hard on my own YouTube channel and I'm going to make a name for myself. I know it isn't much, and it's a really small channel, but I know if I work hard, and post weekly videos, I can do it. I know I can. 

Thanks for listening, Wattpad. Enjoy your days/nights.

Kisses, 
Anni