Read My Shorts

Form A12

Form A12

Here Lies Warren Zevon

(1947-2003)

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

There was a faint thud as someone tried to sit up inside a coffin, followed almost immediately by a heartfelt expletive. Six feet underground, the recently deceased rubbed his head, and swore again.

"Why am I not dead?" he muttered.

"Well technically you are Mr Zevon, but first we have to audit your account."

The side of the coffin dissolved and a six inch high man in a grey suit appeared holding a clipboard.

"Audit? Account?"

"Yes, sir. You've had this body for approximately fifty six years, and we just need to make sure it's returned in half decent condition - allowing for some wear and tear - so that it can be refurbished and sent on. We also audit your soul to see where you're moving on to as well. It's all part of the service you understand, but you need to sign form X87 first."

"And will this take long?"

"Time is somewhat irrelevant now Mr Zevon, but no, we're almost done."

There was a faint buzzing noise and the Auditor flipped open an old style cell-phone and clamped it to his ear.

"Hello, Sturgess... ok, thanks Sharon, lovely. Yes, I'll be down for a coffee in a minute... two sugars, thanks pet.

"Well Mr Zevon, it appears all is present and correct. There's just one thing sir..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could have your autograph? I'm a bit of a fan. I particularly loved your opening line in 'Werewolves of London'..."

"Am I going up or down?" asked the man, a frown on his face.

"Oh, UP sir, most definitely."

"In that case, absolutely. Do I get to sleep now?"

"Yes, sir. But I'll need you to sign release Form A12 first..."

~

Another one of jewel1307 's little challenges. This time to do a 300-word story including the quote in bold. Warren Zevon is famous, among other things, for singing the song Werewolves of London which opens with the wonderful line "I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand..." brilliantly odd.