Dance Academy

Tara Part 1

I rushed out of Christians house so fast that I forgot to say goodbye. I can't believe that me and Christian almost kissed. I can't go back to the roller coaster relationship that we had before or could I. I was brought out of my thoughts when Kat walked up.

"Hey Tara whats wrong?" she said patting my back

"Me and Christian almost kissed and I don't know what to do" I said crying and sobbing

"Well how do you feel about him?" she questioned.

That was a good question. How did I feel about him?

"I have no clue Kat because he's so confusing. When we met he stared at me changing until he picked up my shirt and gave it me, he called me training bra, when he came here after getting arrested he acted like I didn't exist, then when we were partnered up he was a total jack ass to me, he said that I wasn't his type and then out of the blue he wants to be friends. Then when we get to a good place where we can be friends he tells me that "kissing is easy when your with the right person" so I kissed Ethan. When I finally have a boyfriend he tries to ruin it.  He spent the whole summer with me, we practiced everyone day and night, when you left me at the club he came to pick me, he almost kissed me, he danced with me until Ethan came back, when my parents showed up and I found out that I might have to leave he stayed with me until I was okay again, when me and him were at the beach catching a dog and he knew I had a boyfriend at the time he still kissed me, he told me that he liked me and then at your birthday party when I was going to dump Ethan then you guys kissed. He then chased me, then  when I told him I just wanted to be friends he then kissed me couple days later on the beach, he helps me the rest of the way to the dance academy when I broke my leg, he made it snow for me and then we broke up. When Ethan finally gives me a sign that he wants to get back together after I invited Christian to my house and Christian said no so I said yes to Ethan but then Christian asked what my parents like. When we got back together he didn't want me to hangout with his friends, he didn't want me to know what his nickname meant then he says that he loves me. He'd act like he's into the ballet shows but then leaves me to do his own thing with Rusty when he knew that the ballet show meant so much to me. He gets mad at me when we do fancy things that include dressing up, he got mad at me for finding his dad and dumped me, he wanted to get back together but got mad at me for not making the relationship easy like he wanted then he got mad at me for going to where his dad was and asking him to come back. Christian than comes back to dance academy knocking on my door, he starts dating you my best friend then when i start dating someone he says that the guys only dating me to mess with him, he acted jealous when Ben got me an ice rank to impress me then when you guys break up and we go on a trip Ben reads my journal and finds out that everything is about Christian. Ben ends up breaking up with me so I think about ways to get Christian to leave me alone then after the bomb fire he comes to my room and lays with me in bed all night. When we get back he yells at me, acts like he wants nothing to do with me, he messes my dancing up then all of a sudden he tells me he wants to get back together. He ends up taking me to the pool and he kisses me after that we go for a walk under the stars at night time then I say that me and him can't get back together he ends up telling me that "I don't think I'll like anyone as much as I like you". At the end we decided to take things slow and when I was talking to him on our trip it seemed like he wanted to get back together but then I find out that he has a girlfriend. Couple days later me and him kiss, then when I broke up with Liam  he takes me out for dinner and drinks then we go back to his place. He seems like he was into the whole thing then he almost kissed me and when I left he didn't come after me. I thought he was going to tell me how he felt but he never did. His feelings are confusing which is confusing my feelings for him."

"Have you told him how you felt about this whole thing"

"No because he wouldn't understand it" I said walking to a bench

"You want to hear a story"

"Okay"

"You know Ryan"

"Yeah your soon to be husband"

"Yeah. Well when we first met I had the hugest crush on him but I didn't know how he felt about me. He wasn't giving me signs that he had feelings for me until we ended up being in high school. A whole year before I came to dance academy he was giving me signs that he liked me. Like he would give me romantic hugs, he would put his arm around me whenever we sat together, when ever we watched a movie he wanted to cuddle, he would come up behind me and cover my eyes, he would hold my hand when we went for walks, he would kiss me on my cheek but then whenever he got a girlfriend. He hardly talked to me, he hardly noticed me and like some stuff Christian has done to you but when I found out that he actually liked me was like a year or 2 years ago I was on spring break and he got sick. I stayed there with him and helped with everything. There was this one day where he got up and looked at me and it wasn't the same look he gave me before. It was the look that he would give whenever he was in love with someone or just realized that he loved someone. 3 weeks later he asked me out and I knew that if I didn't make the move that he wouldn't so I kissed him. He still gave me mixed signals before like couple months later that's when the mixed signals came back. I was tried of it and I was ready to break up with him but I ended up telling him how I felt about the whole thing after that we're engaged, moving and no mixed signals"

"I think me and Christian should just be friends for now until me and him can figure out our feelings for each other because if me and him does get back together and it doesn't work out. There are no more chances for me and him"

"Okay. When are you going to tell him?"

"Tomorrow morning after his first class is done"

"Just remember Tara that you have to realize that opening up and telling him how you feel and how you feel about this whole thing could open a whole new relationship for you and Christian"

"I know but is it really a risk I'm willing to take."

Kat was right. If I was honest with Christian and he ends up being honest with me  it could open a whole new relationship for me and him but do I really want to take that risk because if we do get back together and things don't workout. There's no going back because I'm done getting hurt. I have a lot to think about.