Dance Academy

Christian

Today's the day that I tell Tara how I feel. I've been up for hours last night thinking about what I want to say to her but for some reason I can't find the right words so I'm hoping what I tell her she'll understand. I was running everything that I was going to say in my head until I saw her. I saw Tara standing there laughing. God I love her laugh and her smile. I love everything about her and words just can't describe how much I love her. 

"Hey what's going on?" I asked walking up to Tara 

"Oh Kat just told us a joke that one of her friends told her"  She said in between laughs 

"Uh um Tara can I talk to you in private for a moment?" I was so nervous. What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she rejects me? 

"So what did you want to talk about?" She looked confused for a moment

I stepped closer to her and I held her hand. I forgot what it was like to hold her hand and how one touch from her makes my body shake. 

"You have to promise to be opened mind about what I am going to say to you. Promise?" I explained. I really want her to be open to us and giving our relationship another shot. 

"Okay I promise but now you're kind of scaring me" She said pulling her hand away from mine and right when she did that I started to miss the feeling of holding her hand and the way she makes me feel on the inside by just one touch. 

"You remember how the other night I told you that 'there is this girl that I've had a crush on since the first time I met her and then I blow it a year later then near the third year I told her how I felt and after that she left town the next day and came back with a boyfriend but now him and her are over. So I'm hoping I will have a third try at giving the relationship a go but I don't think she does then you said 'I think she would love to give the relationship another shot because I bet you that you make her heart race while skipping a beat at the same time'. After we left we went back to my place and we almost kissed. I have a confession. When I was talking about that girl I was talking about you. I still have feelings for you I know I said we could take it slow and see where it goes but I don't want to wait anymore. I can't stand being away from you for just even a second. When we first met I lied about you not being my type. You're the one. Your all that I think about. When I go to sleep I have dreams about you lying next to me and me holding you in my arms then when I wake up and I turn over thinking that maybe it's not a dream then when I realize that's just a dream I feel like there is a piece of me missing. I want to give us another chance" After that I was so nervous of what she would say next because she looked happy but surprised at the same time and confused all in one. 

*10 minutes later*

It's been 10 minutes since I told her how I felt and she still hasn't said anything to me. I didn't want to push her into saying something but it was weird and awkward just standing there.

"Tara are you going to say something?" I asked because I was nervous and scared. It also wasn't helping or calming me down with her just staring at me and looking at me like everything I just said was confusing or like she was trying to process everything 

"Christian that's so sweet and romantic. I do have feelings for you but I don't know about giving us another shot. I know I said that the girl would love to give the relationship another shot but we've tried twice and both times they didn't work out. The first time was because I tired getting to know you and you wouldn't tell me anything so I go looking for it and I find your dad. I ended up telling you and you dumped me right on the spot. The second time it didn't work out because we both thought that if we were meant to be then something would have happened. Its been like a year and still nothing has happened. You keep on trying to find away to make something happen between us. If we're meant to be then something will happen when we lest expect it." she explained getting close to me. She goes to hug me but I push her away. 

"So you're saying no" It felt like someone stabbed my heart with a knife 20 times then ran over it and ripped it up. That's how I felt right now 

"No I'm not saying no" 

"Well it sure seems like you did" I was mad and upset because I just expressed my feelings to her and it seemed like she didn't even want to try the relationship.

"I'm saying can I have time to think about this decision because it's a big decision to make" How is it a big decision? Its a yes or no answer. 

"Okay take as long as you want" I understand I've hurt her in the past but that's in the past and she has hurt me too in the past but I forgave her and forgot about it. If she says No I'll try and understand and I'll respect it but it will hurt like hell. If she says Yes well then I'd run around the school screaming how much I love her and that she's the love of my life and that she's my girl. But whatever she chooses I'll understand and respect her decision.