Dance Academy

Tara Part 1

After talking with Christian I had to leave. I couldn't be near him after what just happened. I know I should be happy that Christian is finally opening up to me but there is a part of me that is telling me to move on from him. Christian might not think this is a big decision and that it is just a simple yes or no but it's not. We're talking about getting back together after we had tried the relationship twice and it never worked out. It was always the wrong time or he would hide things from me like his life is one big secret and I don't want to be with a guy that can't be honest with me and has to hide things from me. I sat at on the beach for 20 minutes until Ryan and Kat came.

"Hey Tara" They shouted together

"Hey Ryan. Hey Kat"

"What happened between you and christian back there? We say him hold your hand and then you pulled away from him and the next thing we knew you were standing there in shock, happiness and excitement but then like 25 minutes later you were gone" Ryan said confused

"Christian told me that he wants to give our relationship another shot and he told me how he felt about me too"

"That's a good thing right. Just a few nights ago you wanted him to tell you how he felt about you so what's so bad about that?" Kat had a point there I did want Christian to tell me how he felt but now that he did I'm scared.

"I guess not but-"I said turning away from them. I can't bear to see their reaction

"But what?"

"Me and Christian tired our relationship twice and it didn't work those both times. The first time we met he said that I wasn't his type, the second time I saw him he called me a name, the third time I saw him he pretended that he didn't know who I was. When me and him got paired up for an assignment he tired hooking up with me, when I broke my leg he never once asked me how I was doing or anything. When I basically threw myself at him he said that nothing could ever happen between us ever again. When I found his dad he dumped me, he doesn't want me around his friends and I don't know why, he allows his one friend to call him Chad and he won't tell me why, he doesn't want me to be dancing with his friends, when I went to try and get him to come back he slammed the door in my face. Then when he wanted to get back together he said that I was making the relationship to hard for him to be in. Another thing when I was dating Kat's brother and Christian knew that me and your brother was together he still tried making a move on me,then when I kissed him he didn't stop me or reminded me that I had a boyfriend and the next day it was your birthday and what happened Christian knew that I was going to be there and he kissed you in front of me knowing that I was hanging out with my boyfriend at the time and that it would bug me. He has ruined 2 of my relationships I had with great guys that I could have had a future with but no he had to ruin them for me. If he did truly like me or love me he would want me to be happy no matter what even if he can't bear it, he would of stayed my friend no matter what, he wouldn't try to make a move on me when I'm in another relationship, he wouldn't try to make me jealous,he wouldn't hide things from me, he wouldn't kiss another girl just to be bug me and he wouldn't have broken my heart so many times" I was angry at Christian for breaking my heart so much.

"Tara you have done some bad things to that you can't just blame Christian for" There goes Kat trying to make me feel bad and give Christian a chance.

"Like what?" I knew what I did but I wasn't going to let Kat have the fun of guilt tripping me

"When you first saw him you though the was watching you get changed, the second time you didn't even talk to him at all, the third time you just looked at him and didn't say a word to him, you would hate on him all the time, you went behind his back and found his dad without asking him first, you kissed him while you were dating my brother. It takes two to tango. I get that he broke your heart so many times but think about all the times you broke his heart. If anything it's a tie and I think you should just sit him down and tell him how you feel first before getting angry and blaming everything on him first and if you still feel the same way oh well but if you don't then you have to make a choice if you want to risk giving the relationship another shot or let go of the relationship."

Kat had a point but just thinking about letting go of the relationship and hearing what Kat just said got me thinking maybe I should just let the relationship go. He's broken my heart so many times and I've broken his heart so many times. It just seems like we keep breaking each other hearts so maybe the best thing is to leave the relationship and just stay friends even if it'shard I'd rather have him has a friend then not have him in my life. This is going to be a long night. The one problem is just thinking about leaving the relationship breaks my heart. Why did relationships, feelings and love get so complicated. I'm only 19 and I'm in my second year of college and going to be a dance teacher at the Dance Academy. This is all to much for me to handle. I just wish there was a sign telling me what I should do. 

"Hey Tara" Ryan said getting me out of my thoughts

"Yes Ryan"

"Kat has a point but you should also think about how he made you feel when you guys were together, how you felt without being with him, did everything change for the better or worse, how did you feel when you were hanging out with him just as friends, how did you feel when you guys were fighting, how did you feel when you saw him kissing another girl, how did you feel when you saw him with other girls, did you feel the same way you feel about christian as you did with the other guys or was it different. You should think about the good things to not just all the bad parts"

Ryan also had a point but at this point I don't know how I feel about christian. Since I came to the Dance Academy I've cheated on a guy, I've had 3 boyfriends, I've almost had sex for the first time ever, I experience love for the first time,I've had my first kiss and when me and Ethan were together I kissed Christian. Then not long after we broke up I started dating Christian and then not that long after me and Christian broke I went back to hanging out with Ethan and then back to Christian. After me and Christian broke up not long after I was dating Ben and not long after me and Ben broke up I went back with Christian. I came here when I was 16 and I'm 19 now. I never really got the chance to actually figure out what I want to do with my life, I don't even have a major yet for college, I don't know what to do about relationships but the only thing I do know is that I want to teach people how to dance.That is one thing I'm 100% sure about. Life and Love are so complicated.