Inevitable //G-Eazy Fanfiction//

Chapter 3:

// Hurting //

I pulled his black tee over my head after he existed the bathroom . The cologne smell it carried ,lingered throughout the fabric ,his tee fit a bit oversized almost passing my knees . Butterflies formed in my stomach except Gerald wasn't responsible for them. Flashbacks spun in my head ,in each memory that replayed I was in Maison's tees getting ready for bed , I couldn't lay my head on my pillow without taking a quick sniff . It was soothing ,so comforting , I felt as if he was always with me no matter where he was physically . Sadness builds up in my chest , I resist the deep urge to let the tears I'm holding back fall . Never have I ever in my whole 23 years of existence on this earth have I felt so broken ,to experience it all in less than 24 hours is a bit much to take in don't you think ?

Holding bunched up toilet paper to the corners of both eyes ,I dapped softly over whatever tears managed to escape against my will . My hair was still wet ,leaving me no choice but to let it droop over my saddened face .
Such a wreck I am .

I sensed a slight tug on the opposite side of the door when I finally gained the courage to twist the knob to step foot out the restroom . My eye peeps through the small slit of space between the door frame and the door . There it finds a black shadow of a dark haired man pacing back and forth anxiously .
Twisting the knob completely I push the door forward to exit . Gerald stood completely frozen, each tiny vein in his eyes were bloodshot red . The bottle of Jack D's dangled between the fingers of his right hand . His facial expressions read "lost and in need of help" he didn't even have to speak for me to know. Like a sad puppy he had a dejected look in his deep eyes that hide so much pain behind them.

"Are you...okay ?" ,
my tone was unsure .

He nods but I know he's falling apart inside . His mouth was curved , and worry lines wiggled in between his temples .

"I've only gotten to know you for half a day but I know you're not okay G ."
The sympathy I felt for this boy was overwhelming ,seeing him in a such a vulnerable state absolutely hurt because I felt the same . I know what it's like to be confused yourself and not be able to identify your own emotions because you don't know exactly what you're fucking feeling .
"You need to get to your bed before you pass out ."
"Where's your bedroom ? "

Still no answers from him.
His balance was off , I feared he'd fall and hit his head on a glass table in the hall way and black out or something . Honestly just want to make sure he is safe but he won't speak to me . Is he too drunk ? Can he hear me? So many questions that obviously can't be answered right now .

"Hey ?Hey ? Can you hear me ?", I gently slapped his cheeks trying to get a reaction from him .
It's quite the challenge since he's 6'4 and I'm ... well 5'1 but him being slouched against the wall helps a lot .

He points ,slurring out  ,"Upstairs."

Stumbling towards the stairs his sweating hand gripped the
railing . We took each step slowly one by one. He had me under his arm trying to keep himself from tumbling down the stairs ,putting his weight on me unintentionally . Running out of patience like sand draining from an hour glass ,this flight of stairs seems endless .Minutes later we reached the last step it was almost as victorious as crossing a finish line .

He let go of me and began to walk on his own , unsteady at first but he made it to his bedroom . I followed behind to make sure he was safely tucked in bed ,not the first time I played mom for a drunk .

"What's wrong ?" ,I question .
I honestly just wanted him to open up to me but I know I'm the last person he'd even consider . Hoping he'd put all our differences aside I sat next to him,waiting patiently.

"Too much ." , his long face looks down at his rough knuckles . His voice was raspy.
"I want to know .",I gulp knowing he's a ticking time bomb and will blow any second . It only takes one simple word to trigger him .

"You barely know me ,why would you care about my problems or me for that matter ?" , he scoffs .

"You look like you need someone to talk to . I know I'm not your favorite person , I know we barely know each other but I am the only person that sees you're coming apart ."

"What makes you think I would drop all my problems on a stranger . I need no one . Absolutely no one especially not you . " , he cold heartedly says . His words felt like a heavy fist swinging at my face .

"It's just me ,myself, and I .",Gerald's lips continue .

"I'm not that much of a stranger if you offered me a spot in your home for the night . If you trust me under your roof , you can trust me with your problems .", I reply with sincerity in my voice .

"I'm mentally and physically exhausted of this all ."
He buries his face in his palms for a moment .

"We all feel tired at some point ,that's completely normal ."
"You don't have to be alone either stop pushing me away I want to hear about your problems."
I scoot closer to him in hopes my words are comforting .

"I chose this lifestyle and it's such a blessing but sometimes I can't handle the pressure of it all , I feel alone , it always finds its way to get between my relationships with friends and any person I'm serious about at the time ."

Who would have ever thought this was going on in his head ? He seemed so emotionless . I give him every bit of my attention ,no one likes to vent when they feel no one is listening or gives a fuck .

"I lost a girl I really cared about last year because of this."

"Tell me about it ,if you'd like ."

I was now more interested in getting to know the possible other side to him . Enough with this tough act .

His mood instantly changed ...
"You know what , I don't want to fucking talk about it anymore !" , his voice is full of anger .
My heart was beating fast ,his loud unsuspected outburst had startled me .
I thought I was making progress but boy was I wrong . His emotions were spiraling out of control . A few simple words was all it took for him to be back to his usual isolating behavior . I couldn't help but fear him ,a part of me wanted to make a run for it but another trusted him .

"I'll sleep on the fucking couch !", Gerald yells as he storms out the door .
I remained still not moving an inch because I was in shock of how fast a person can flip their emotions .

Finally coming to realization I shut the door and crawled into his king sized bed ,where I'm sure hundreds maybe thousands of girls have laid in .
Exhaustion traveled throughout my body as soon as I laid my head on the plush pillow .
Late night thoughts of tonight ran free in my mind . For starters I was intrigued with why he flipped when the topic of the nameless girl was mentioned .
Gerald rather feel the aching burn of alcohol falling to the pit of his stomach instead of facing his feelings . Destroying his liver more and more each night didn't matter as long as his problems were temporarily erased from his conscience . The man rather vomit every fluid in his body the morning after than take a hard look at his reality . Tragic ,very . A bottle of Jack and a leather jacket won't ever be enough to keep the broken person he truly is under wraps . It's nothing but an illusion , an image , a persona he displays to the public .

He's hurting ... I know it .

I slowly shut my eyes not thinking about what tomorrow will bring .