Inevitable //G-Eazy Fanfiction//

Chapter 8:

// Days & Days //

I've been laying in bed for days now with my phone beside me ,waiting for just a simple text from anyone really. Desperately ,I wanted to hear the  sound my phone made when I got a message . Pathetic ? Yes . I can't remember the last time someone has reached out to me this week . Mat hasn't spoken to me since that disastrous night and it has me thinking . I mean he did say "it wasn't just about that " but hasn't took the time out of his day to explain what it really meant, to me . My laptop is the only thing keeping me company and entertained sadly . This place is so empty without Ava . She flew to New York last weekend and won't be back for another month ,her mom is ill she needs her daughter there more than I need her here drowning in my boy drama.

My week has consisted of nothing but Netflix and microwaveable fridge food ,I'm so sick of it . I haven't left the house or opened a window to let the day's light shine through . My bags are out of control I've been having some trouble falling asleep at night lately . My sheets are a mess from all the tossing and turning restless nights cause . It's still a foreign feeling waking up alone with no brown haired boy grabbing on your waist with his face hidden in the nook of your neck. The "I love You's " are the hardest to let fade away in your memory even though it wasn't genuine because he decided to fuck me over . It's nothing but an imprint in my mattress now and I hate the constant reminder . I miss him but I think I just miss the fact I had someone even more ,I wasn't alone . Loneliness is a fear of mine ,I'm too prideful to admit it though .

I shut my laptop , placing it on my nightstand beside my lamp . My hands adjusted my pillow the way I wanted,laying my head in the plushness , I closed my eyes ignoring the brightness the morning's light brung to my bedroom . My body laid still sinking in the memory foam mattress but my mind remained restless . I've been fighting with my self these past few days refusing to admit my feelings ,which let me remind you I have no control over . I couldn't stop thinking about him . No matter how hard I tried to push him out of my thoughts he still managed to pop back in . I shared lips with Mat but the connection I felt when Gerald's eyes met with mine was nowhere near comparable . I wish I could detach every thought I had about this self centered asshole who doesn't see me as nothing else but a friend from my brain . How could I possibly be falling for someone I hardly know ? Someone ice cold ? Someone who acted like such an asshole the first time meeting ? I got a small preview of the other side to him though ,I know he is capable of kindness .
You can't have him ,it will never work Brooklyn .
My conscience kept reminding me . It was true . He's a rapper he wouldn't just turn in his lifestyle for me . The girls ,the drugs ,the after parties ,his freedom,everything... I'm just a model trying to make it in LA ,our busy schedules wouldn't work . Plus he could have any girl he wants I doubt he's even thinking of me right now . He's probably rounding up the line of girls waiting outside his hotel room waiting to sleep with him . Meanwhile I'm staring at his tee I neatly had folded on my desktop , I forget to give it back to him the other night .

Suddenly ,the cloud of thoughts hanging over my head  bursted .A knock had interrupted my thinking. Who could it be ? I wasn't expecting anyone . Confused , I rolled out of bed and made my way to my apartment door that was still being knocked on .
"I'm coming !", I yell annoyed .

I twisted the nob ,opening the door .
My eyes widened and my heart nearly stopped making me want to shut the door on his face instantly .

"Maison what the fuck are you doing here ?", I ask angrily I didn't want him in my presence . Seeing him on my doorstep made my blood boil and made me realize I didn't miss him at all.
"I miss you ."
His manipulating hazel eyes looked at mine ,almost as if he wanted me to feel sympathy for his sorry ass.