undercover s.w

thirteen.

asher.

winter break eventually comes around but the pain sam brought me still hasn't left. for two weeks I won't be forced to look at him sulking in the hallways. or see him not raise his head a single time in any class. I won't have to look at him sit and eat lunch alone because he was bumming his friends out. I won't have to listen to everyone tell me to forgive him because it will make us both happier.

the first night of the break he came over to our house. he knocked on the door and didn't get more than three words out before jack beat the living shit out of him. this only made me cry more.

that was four days ago and I haven't let the house a single time. sophie is out of town with her family which sucks because she always made me feel a little better.

"I'm worried about you honey." my mom says when she walks into my room.

"there's nothing to worry about." I respond emotionlessly.

"you need to get out of the house and do something. you used to love going to the park and taking pictures of the scenery or writing about it. why don't you do that?" she suggests.

"do I really have a choice or are you going to make me?" I question.

"make sure you wear something warm, I don't want you to catch a cold." she smirks before walking out.

I sigh before getting out of bed. I put on a pair of leggings and one of his old sweatshirts. I stole it a while back and hate myself for keeping it. I grab my camera, polaroid, and old worn out notebook.

I start the short walk to the park while listening to a random indie playlist on 8tracks. before I know it I'm at my favorite picnic table at the park. families are having fun everywhere despite the almost freezing temperature. they don't really like it when I take pictures of them so instead I write about what they're doing.

in the middle of my second or third poem and at the end of my first playlist someone sits across from me. I look up and see a bruised up sam. this is the first time I've seen him since what jack did.

"so that's what he did?" I question.

"yeah, hurt like a bitch but I deserve worse." he explains. I nod silently.

"I hope you know I'm never going to stop apologizing or trying to get you back." he speaks up.

"you don't mean that." I shrug.

"oh but I do, and I wouldn't have nearly as much hope as I do right now if you weren't wear the wearing that sweatshirt." he explains.

"it was the first one I saw." I lie. he smiles a little as he shakes his head.

we sit in silence for a little while before I finally gather the courage to do something that's long overdue. I pull out the notebook and write down eight letters. f o r g i v e n. I pass the book to sam who looks a little taken aback at first. once he realizes what it is he smiles his signature smile and stands up from the table. he rushes to my side and kisses me passionately. I pull away reluctantly.

"I don't want things to go back to the way they were before." I say which leads sam to frown a little.

"I want to start fresh and move a lot slower." I explain. he stops for a second to think before speaking up.

"well in that case it's very nice to meet you random park lady, my name is samuel but you can call me sammy." he smiles.

"I'm asher but you can me ash."