I eat, don't get me wrong, I do eat. I just don't eat a lot.
If someone's around, I'll eat a lot more than you think I would. I've been told many times that I'm skinny, but I've also been told many more times that I'm fat.
This is where my problem comes in.
I thought I was okay and that I was eating a normal amount. I thought that the fact that I kept losing weight was fine. I honestly thought I was okay.
Until today. I was casually going through Tumblr, and saw this picture. (Not sure if it loaded, if not, it's a picture of pizza.) Right on the spot, I wanted to barf. I thought about how much weight you could gain from eating any of that. It suddenly occurred to me that I could barely eat two pieces on some days without wanting to barf.
Then the comments drifted through my mind. The little comments that bothered me to no end. There was no harmful intention when the words we said, but I overthought them, made the words turn over and over in my head until I was unhappy with my body.
I realized that I was lying to myself. For a year, I've been lying to myself, convincing myself that I was completely fine when it came to my eating habits. The worst part was, was that I knew what I was doing to myself. I knew it. There were days I would go without eating anything but dinner, throwing out breakfast and lunch when no one was watching. I barely ate dinner as well, playing with the food until the rest of my family left.
It's been worse these past few weeks, although I did eat a rather fattening lunch the day before Halloween. After that, I didn't eat much for the rest of day.
I guess this is yet another problem I have to try to fix.
Well, BYE.
YOU ARE READING
It's just my journal.
Non-FictionHello there, this is just my journal. It's really nothing special. I just a needed a place to vent, and some people can relate...so they like to read it. That's really all it is. It's kind of depressing and, well, there are some trigger warnings her...
