Welcome to my life and my thoughts. Poems book 2.

I don't want to forget

A lot has happened, I can't lose her<3

I don’t want to forget.

I don’t want to forgot the way your voice sounds,

The way you say ‘hello’ when you answer my call,

The way you’re hair covers your mask,

The smile that isn’t true,

Worn bracelets and broken promises,

Long nights and streaming eyes,

Blurred words written, typed on a screen,

Rush of feelings and late replies,

I don’t want to forget.

Happiness in your voice that doesn’t ring true,

Words digested and purged back up again,

Cries for help through silence,

When no one’s there the scars appear,

I don’t want to forget.

If only you could see,

If only your head would listen,

Would not shut me out, push me away,

If only,

If only,

Fears creep in,

Words lost in emotional translation,

Never ending doubts, never ending worries,

Scared of trusting, scared of loss,

I don’t want to forget.

Letters arranged to slice as a blade,

Break that barrier,

Of ever wanting release,

Only to regret it later,

Actions displayed on a screen,

As the times ticks on,

No response, no reply, no sense of being alive,

Worrying gets worse, and I still don’t know if you’re here,

I don’t want to forget.

Losing you is something I can’t let happen,

Falling asleep waiting on that call,

Waking up and still no call,

The unspoken truth hanging in the air,

Last breaths taken,

Or so you thought, but still I am here,

Holding on and never letting go,

Calling your name into the silence of darkness,

I don’t want to forget.

Never ending if only’s,

Never ending regrets,

Never ending memories,

Never ending thoughts,

Never ending photos,

Never ending tears,

Never ending pain,

Never ending hurt,

Never ending missing,

Never ending sorry’s,

I don’t want to forget, but now you’re gone,

You never said goodbye,

Six feet underground and so much more you needed to hear,

Needed to feel, see, experience,

You could have been stronger than your fears,

If only,

I could have saved you,

I’m sorry,

I could have stopped your bleeding,

Stopped your pain,

Stopped your hurt,

Made sure that last moment never happened,

When the blade sliced the air,

Blood pumping through your veins,

To delicately being released,

A final word whispered,

Your last feeling of winning, beating the battle,

Through exiting, bypassing,

What about me?

I can’t forget.