Falling For Stupid

Day 90

Candice Holman

Hot tears roll down my cheeks as I stare intensely into his honey colored eyes. Inside, I am screaming all sorts of profanities at him. Outside I've lost all my words.

"Well?" He raises his voice a little, gaining the attention of our classmates that were surrounding us.

Unable to find my words, I lock eyes with Elliot. The look in Elliot's eyes show that he pities me. Which makes me feel even more like crap.

"Candice." Mario calls out my name a little too harshly in my opinion. He instantly snatches my attention off of Elliot.

"Yes?" I croak out. My voice doesn't even sound like my voice anymore.

"You have nothing to say about having feelings for your ex? Nothing?" He asks, saying every single word that we rehearsed earlier today.

I blink a couple times, wanting this night to be over. I lower my eyelids to the floor, refusing to say the words that I'm supposed to say next.

I can hear Mario sighing at my resistance to do what we discussed. I lift my eyes slowly to his, with so many emotions going through my body.

"Can we talk about this?" I whisper, barely audible. This wasn't the words that I was supposed to say, so it takes him a little by surprise as he studies my eyes. "In private." I plead with my eyes, hoping that he sees I'm completely serious.

"Why?" He questions with pretend hurt etch on his caramel colored skin. "You don't want everyone to know that you are still in love with Elliot?" He lifts his arms up and looks around at our fellow classmates. "I'm the one embarrassed that I gave everything to you the last three months. I wanted this to work with you."

From the corner of my eyes, I can see my best former friend, Angela, shaking her head from disappointment. I take a deep noticeable breath, shaking my own head. When Mario and I discussed the 'break up', we decided it was best for me to play the bad guy. We needed him to look innocent enough for Angela. Now, as she looks at me with anger in her eyes, I feel sick to my stomach.

I flicker my gaze back to Mario. "I'm not doing this with you right here, right now." I say as sternly as I possibly could. He needs to understand that I'm completely serious. "Let's talk privately."

"You cheated on me with your fucking ex!" He screams so loudly that he makes me jump back a little. The beast is now out. He warned me that he was going to act ignorant for show, but his voice still takes me by surprise.

"Mario . . . " I try to interrupt the performance he was about to give to our classmates, Angela, and Elliot. "Baby ---

Yes, this was our grand plan three months ago, but a lot has changed in three months. I should have told him everything earlier today, but I couldn't find my words. Now I have no choice, but to attempt to tell him what's in my heart and soul. The new me doesn't want what the old me wanted. The old me wanted Elliot. He was the reason why this whole plan was devised. So that I can get Elliot, and Mario can get Angela. And everyone will live happily ever fucking after.

Now looking into his eyes that has pretend hatred for me, I have a confession that would make this whole plan sour. See, I wasn't supposed to feel anything for him. I prefer despising him, because it makes life a little more easier for Angela and I. I hate that I love him. I hate that after ninety days of plotting with him that I had fallen for him. The new me wants him, not Elliot.