Falling For Stupid

Day 8 - Sunday

November 13, 2016

Candice

I give a couple light taps on Kerri's door, before just barging in like I own the place. Today is Sunday, and I'm sure she's expecting me sometime today. My weekends are usually spent with Kerri. After my disastrous double date with Mario, I stayed in the house. Mostly, plotting ways to kill him and get away with it.

"I'm home!" I announce, loudly, throwing my bag into the recliner. After a few minutes of silence, I walk slowly to the sofa and slouch down on it. "Nobody cares." I mumble to myself.

"What happened yesterday? Terrence and I kept the door unlocked, until eleven for you, baby." Kerri comes from the back, holding a laundry basket.

I close my eyes and kick my feet up on the coffee table. "God has plant the devil in my life. He goes by the name Mario, and he is growing to be a major pain in my ass."

"Yeah? Let me put this load in and we can girl talk. I made your favorite last night. There's still some left."

At her mentioning my favorite, my eyes shoot open. My favorite. I'm so in love with Kerri's Loaded Bake Potato soup.

"Mmm" . . . I force myself to get up, already visualising a hot bowl of soup with extra bacon crumbs. And this is one of the reasons why this makes Kerri my favorite cousin. She looks after me.

I rush to the kitchen to fix myself a bowl of soup. After the night with Mario, I need something to take my mind off of it. Before I can reach the kitchen cabinet and get a bowl, my phone begins to ring. It sounds like a fire alarm going off, notifying me that he is calling me. I had gave Mario his own special ringtone, because I think it's only right to be warned, when he is about to invade my life.

Momentarily, I debate on rather or not to answer his call. Seeing as today is a Sunday and Mario made a messy splash on Saturday with life, I think I deserve to have a Mario free day. Before I can change my mind, I quickly slide my finger across the screen, ignoring his call.

When I enter the kitchen, my phone beeps, indicating I have a message. I already know it's Mario and as much as I'm trying to avoid him today, I find myself going to his text message. What's the harm?

U SAW THAT I CALLED YOU. WOMAN, OOH ... DONT MAKE ME LOSE MY TEMPER.

What an ass. I shake my head, smiling a little at his text.

Even God took a break on Sunday, Mario.

God created a lot, and we still need to break Kevin and Angela up. Got a plan.

"Wonderful. He has an idea. This is just what we need." I say a bit dryly, fingering my phone. I just want to eat some soup and revisit this plan on Monday.

Ignoring his text, I go into the cabinet and pull out a bowl. My phone begins ringing again, sounding like a fire alarm.

"When the hell did you become so damn clingy?" I answer the phone, bitterly. I set my bowl to the side, deciding I will eat after I get off the phone with him. He will not ruin my appetite.

"When you told me to kiss your ass." He says in a quiet deep voice. "I particularly enjoy ass kissing."

Precisely why I refuse to eat and discuss things with him. "What's the plan? You may want to sit on the phone and joke about eating ass, but---"