fatherhood // lashton

26

Luke was sat on his bed with his head in his hands and his teeth biting down on his tongue harshly, making pain run through his whole mouth.

He sat up in his bed and rested his back against the wall, running his hands over his - actually Ashton's - jacket, fixing the button up shirt beneath it, before standing up and walking over to the mirror.

He studied his reflection in the mirror and would much likely start to cry to what he saw if he didn't have to leave in a few minutes.

The previous events earlier today ran through Luke's mind, and he had to run a hand through his hair and tug harshly to stop himself from sobbing out desperately.

"Luke, I thought you wanted this. I brought you here because I thought you deserved it and because I think you're an amazing employee. What I've seen here is nothing like that. You're not even present and I don't see any excuses for your behavior. This is work, Luke, and you're doing anything but working. I'm counting on you to make it all up, and you get a last chance at the fair tonight"

Luke felt ashamed for having his boss telling him off. Luke was blessed to be on this trip and the only thing he had to do was to do pay attention, and he couldn't even do that.

Ever since he first locked eyes with Dani the first day in New York, his mind has been on the high road. He couldn't think clear and he was ready to cry every second of the day.

Luke thought about Ashton and their kids all the time in the start, but stopped when feeling how the hate, regret, and pain spread through his body each time he imagined Ashton's warm hazel-green eyes.

Luke had started to hate himself during these days and nights in New York, and he was slowly and desperately suffering, but he deserved it. He was an awful human being.

The only thing he needed to do to keep his job and to stop his feelings of regret, was to go to the fair with Dan. But Luke couldn't even do that right, because now he was getting ready for the dinner with Dani, completely ignoring Dan's orders.

Luke was screwing up, and he was fully aware of it, but he ignored it like a stupid, pathetic, idiotic, teenage boy. He thought that maybe if he was thinking like his teenage self, the mistakes he would make would be okay, but they obviously weren't.

Luke bit his lip, letting his lip ring run against his tongue, before letting out yet another heavy sigh. He dug around in his pocket and pulled out his phone, looking at it before unlocking it and typing in a text quickly.

I love you.

He looked at the three bold words before sending them to Ashton, turning off his phone and threw it on his bed to avoid seeing Ashton's reply.

He ran a hand through his hair again, shutting his eyes closed tightly and bit his lip harshly before exiting his hotel room and rushed to the elevator, desperately pressing the button to the lobby about 7 times before the elevator started to move.

"Fuck you, Luke. Fuck you" Luke cursed as he shook his head and avoided to look at himself in the mirror on the wall. He didn't want to look at himself anymore, because all he would see would be pure disappointment.

The elevator reached the lobby and Luke took a heavy breath before stepping out and walked over to the exit, immediately seeing the pretty brunette waiting for him.