twenty eight

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I stood downstairs waiting for Amber to finish getting ready. I was gonna take her to see the one of the few good things in my life. My mother.

I always told her that no matter what happened, I'll be there to protect her and give her whatever her sweet heart desired. It's enough my bastard father treated her like she was worthless, as if she had no purpose on the world. It's because of him, I noticed that love is nothing but a word. Something used to take advantage of. How much I tried to find the real meaning. The real feeling. Countless girls before Valerie. Countless girls after her. And no one could stich up the hole in my heart where feelings belonged.

For years I thought it was gonna stay that way. Then I met Amber, and my heartless self, started to gain the capability of yearning to love once more. Yes I felt this with Val, but Amber made me crave her. I couldn't go by without her smile crossing my mind. It drove me crazy, and I hated it. But I loved it.

"I'm ready to go." I heard Amber whisper from the stairs.

I looked up, making my thoughts come to a complete stop. She was dressed in fuzzy leggings with her black peacoat on. She had on the pair of UGGS I bought her a month ago. Seeing her wear them made me smile, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What? Is my hair bad?" She said. Her brown hair fell atop her shoulders as usual, so I didn't see the problem.

"No no baby girl. Just thinking. Let's go." I said.

She didn't say anything, and followed me outside. The brisk winter wind hit my face, immediately making it numb. I didn't feel like driving, so I decided to call in Freddy, my personal driver. He was available at all times, and one of the few people I trusted outside my crew. He was down with anything and for anything, and kept whatever needed to be a secret just that.

He came in my driveway in only five minutes. Amber and I gladly got in, but she was in the front with Freddy. I sighed knowing she was still pretty pissed.

"Freddy this is Amber, Amber this is Freddy." I said. They exchanged hellos, but Amber kept her eyes out the window.

"Where to Abel?"

"To my favorite."

He nodded knowing what I meant, and went on to drive. I could tell the frustration on Amber's face, and I couldn't help but smile. She was trying to figure out who was my favorite and once she does she'll be surprised.

**

Valerie:

The smell of grass was around me, soothing my rotten core. I was sure to get ejected from the rehab center, but I didn't care. It didn't do anything, but make me want my daily fix more. I laid down, still in my long t-shirt. I thought about what just happened between Abel and I, and the thought made me smile.

I know he still wants me. He will always want me. He could marry a bitch, but he knows he could never get over me. I opened his heart, and locked it back up again. Only I could truly open it.

But again it seems I was wrong. He wanted Amber, and it made my blood boil. I saw the look in his eyes when he spoke of her name. The look of love. He looked happy.

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