Life's for the Living

20. Gran Faye:

So far it's been a really dry autumn, and the hottest I've ever seen. It hasn't rained in weeks and there was a hose pipe ban at the start of April for most of the UK. We went to my grandma's house in August, the weekend before I started year eight. I loved it at grandmas, I always had done.

She lived in a little cottage, two miles away from anywhere. You could go on walks through the woods and follow the tiny streams. You could admire the great carpets of bluebells and smell all the wild garlic growing. You could hear the birds chirping in the trees, it was really peaceful and heavenly down there.

Toby seems to think otherwise. He likes order and rules and in the country, there are none. Things just grow were they grow and are as they are. Toby's brain can't handle that and so whenever we went he tended to stay inside. That also meant that we didn't get to see grandma as often, we visited my step grandma more often. I call her Dobby... don't ask why because I really don't know, I've just always called her that. 

Anyway, I was especially looking forward to it this time because of all that has happened recently, I can forget everything when I'm walking. I can set my mind free and just let my legs carry me away. I can feel the breeze in my hair and run my hands through the grass. I can feel like I really am part of nature.  

When I was ten, I started going on my first proper walks by myself, I didn't realise then that it was June and the peak in horse fly season or that horse flies lived near water and were attracted to dark, moving, objects. I decided to follow the stream and didn't get quarter of a mile before the horse flies took an interest in me.

I thought they were moths and I was batting them away, then I saw one on my arm and I tried batting it away but it wouldn't go. I was like a whistling kettle, the panic rising inside of me at the realisation that this thing was actually attached to my arm. Eventually, it had enough of my blood and went away. This whole time I just stood there, white as a sheet, watching it and not quite knowing what to do next. After it left, I gathered my thoughts and realised that they were now swarming around me. I screamed with my arms flailing around in the air, sprinting back to the house at full pelt with what seemed like a thousand horse flies chasing after me. I was terrified. Grandma used to laugh at me for that. She said I looked so comical when I came screaming down the path in panic, arms and legs everywhere.  

We got there in the evening and so I went to bed almost straight away, I always slept well at grandma's, I don't know why, maybe it's because I can finally relax there or because I love being there. I don't know. The nightmares, however, continued; as I thought they would, never giving me a break.  

Grandma was quieter than she usually was, I thought it was probably because her children are all dying. It must be absolutely devastating, even for one of your children to die. I can't begin to imagine the pain she must have been going through. I got up early the next morning, about 6, and I knew she would be up, she gets up at five every morning. I tried to get dressed without waking Toby up which isn't an easy thing to do. Especially not for me, I'm so clumsy. I kept almost tripping over myself and just about regaining my balance in time.  

I went down her narrow staircase into her living room. The table is in the living room which is the biggest room in the house and I like it because it's always nice and cosy in there. There is a door near the table which leads into her tiny kitchen. The kitchen then leads out into the back garden.  

I made myself some breakfast (I knew what to expect; she only buys muesli) and slumped down on the sofa to eat it. I turned on her tiny TV, not that there was anything good to watch.  

"Someone's up early." "And eating on my sofa." Gran had snuck in behind me again, making me jump.

"Sorry Gran. You should get comfier chairs." I mumbled.