Life's for the Living

19. Ghosts of the past Tea:

Last night I saw Faye for the first time in a week. We were in a small village, a different village. I think it was Faye's village because she knew it so well and seemed comfortable there.

We walked around for a while down all the alleyways and through small shops laughing at all the ridiculous things that they sold just like we did in Sacred Hearts. There were not very many people around, just a few here and there, randomly scattered about the place. We were there for ages before anything odd happened but we never got bored walking through the same shops laughing at the same things, I just did the same every time. It was exactly the same as what we did in Sacred Hearts, like we were on automatic.

We walked into a shop, one with lots of wigs, for the 3rd time when a small boy, he looked about three, flew out between my legs, he looked very lost. He ran under a couple of tables giggling as if he was hiding from us. I waited for about a minute for his mum to rush in with a sudden gush of relief on her face as she saw her son. But nothing happened. After a while I started to get worried.

"Faye?" I asked "do you think he is lost?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking that." she said bending down to the little boy. "Hello there, are you lost?" she asked tapping the little boy on the back. The boy turned around and she shreaked. "Simon!"The boy just stood there giggling a little
"Heyo farry". Faye looked horrified. "but..." she mumbeled tears welling in her eyes. Eventually, after staring at him for a minute in disbelief, she picked him up and hugged him tight.
"I love you simon, I love you and I will never let you go. " she whispered into his ear.

She put him down as we walked out the shop.

"Lets find your mum" she smiled but there was something weird about this boy; something not quite right about the way Faye reacted. Just as we left the shop, the boy ran into the road. "SIMON NO!!!" she shrieked but it was too late, the car had already hit him. The car that came out of no where.

The driver pulled over and stared at the lifeless body on the floor. Faye just stared at the car, mumbling something under her breath.

Passing people stopped to help him and I was in shock, not quite knowing what to do. There wasn't anything we could do for him, he was clearly dead. But Faye just stood looking at the car. When the ambulance came to take him away everyone who was once at the scene gradually left in a solemn silence, muttering about what they had just witnessed. I stood beside Faye once more, she hadn't moved.

"Simon?" Faye called "Simon where are you?" then she started searching. She was looking under the cars and was still calling his name. I watched her until I couldn't bare it anymore.

"Faye!" I shouted "Simon is gone. " she looked at me but before I could say anything else tears started tumbling from her eyes.

"No" she sobbed "no, not this time" i helped her over to a bench, feeling as if this was my fault. I shouldn't have said anything, i didn't know what i was doing.

I sat by her for a while till the crying had subsided. As I bent down to her level someone knocked me in the back. "jo!" I shrieked hugging her at once.

"Hey" she said.

"Anyway we better be getting off soon she said we have a plane to catch after all. " I stood and stared at her for a while in confusion, not knowing what she was on about but feeling as if I had been in this situation before. Then I realised that was the last thing she said to me before she left.

"No, wait!" I say frantically wanting the memory to be prolonged, not wanting the same ending.

"I am sorry Tea, I really am." she said "look, my mum is here we have to go. Keep in touch and remember we are coming to visit you in the summer!"

All I could do is look on helplessly, I knew I couldn't change this, it was just a memory. She got in the next car and left. But I know what happened, I know that she never kept in touch, that she forgot about me and that she never came in the summer. She never came at all.

I sting with the memory of her betrayal but yet I want her back so badly. I flop down beside Faye, sighing.

"Ghosts." I say "Ghosts of the past."

"I guessed. " she replies with an emotionless tone.

"I need to get out of here. " I say to her after a while. She stares ahead blankly. Then she loses it.

"We only just got here and I need to talk to you!" she starts shrieking. I jump, taken aback by her outburst.

"Not here I mean real life, because I cant deal with it, mum is so bad and well maybe she would be better in a place they can really look after her."

"What you mean your mum is ill?"

"Yeah, mentally ill. Depressed. " I stutter.  The words don't flow naturally, I have to force them out, but I trust Faye like I have never trusted anyone before. With my entire heart.

"Oh. " she says

"I can't go to Sacred Hearts, not yet anyway, not until mum is safe. "

"But we will have to go sometime soon."she tells me. "People are dying and soon it will be your mum anyway." She says, still no emotion in her voice. She doesn't seem to realise what she said could have caused offensive.
"You think I don't know that?" I ask her.  "I'm not letting you just give up like that! what about your dad, your brother?"

She doesn't say anything after that, we just sit in silence.

"Friday" I say,

"What about Friday?" she asks.

"We will go on Friday. " I tell her, but before she has chance to protest, and I see that she wants to, i wake myself up so that I can't change it. I didn't know it would work like that. It never has done before, I've never been able to just wake up. I guess I have worked a way around these dreams now, to a certain extent, I have control of them.

On the side of my bed there is a pack of tissues and a bus time table. I have 5 days.