Edit | #Wattys2016

Five

What? I..." I trail off, spinning around to meet Chance's eyes. "You did what?" My voice hitches.

"Amber, let me explain-" Chance pleads, extending his hands out to me.

I tune out after that. The boy I had a crush on-no, even loved once-killed my parents? Why? Does he really hate me that much? Am I such a terrible person?

No, that isn't true. Chance would never hurt me, he...he loves me.

That's what he told me, right?

That was before, a voice whispers, he never told you that he loved you now. Maybe he has a hidden agenda, and he just wants to use you for something.

"Amber," Chance calls for me, "Amber." His eyes hold honesty. Love. Trust. Things I don't think I have in me anymore. Maybe I am really a monster.

No. I can't let him get to me. He always gets me in trouble, and I want to stay away from that kind of thing.

I shake my head, and jerk away from him. "You," I point at him, "killed my parents. How could you? How could you, Chance?" My voice trembles. My world is crashing down, spinning around at a dizzying speed.

Chance doesn't even try to explain, instead his eyes become angry and stormy. "Go on, Amber, believe every single word Ridelink says. Yes, I have made a mistake, heck, who am I kidding, I've made many mistakes, Amber. And here I was, thinking you'd accept me for who I was." He scoffs, shaking his head vigorously, "I was so dumb."

I feel my heart shatter, even though I can't even feel a thing. His words feed the raging inferno in me. I lift my chin. I want nothing to do with him. "Fine then, don't you ever try to talk to me again. You'll go your way and I'll go mine."

And instead of apologizing, pride gets in the way of Chance, and he rolls his eyes at me, shrugging, like I mean nothing to him. "Fine," he says, yawning.

Tears prickle the back of my eyes. "I hate you, Chance Adams,"

He laughs coldly. "The feeling is mutual, Corinne."

He didn't use my real name. I miss hearing it. I want to be Amber again, I really do, but I can't. But when Chance calls me Amber, I feel like I can be me, I can be free, I can do whatever I wish to and he's always going to be there for me.

I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying. But like the weak girl I am, the tears spill over my lashes, pouring down my cheeks.

"Oh look, the princess is crying! Aww, how sad. Does she need her teddy bear?" Chance mocks, laughing at his cruel joke.

And in that split moment, I hate him with all my heart and soul, but I still can't find the heart to leave him homeless...the world is awfully dangerous now.

I hate this Chance. I hate him so much. Now I get what Chance meant by saying that "his" girl was hidden inside that monster that I was. It's the same thing. I'm trying to bring back my Chance, but he's so far away.

But there's nothing else I can do.

Taking Dustin by the hand, I lace my fingers with his although he knows that I can't feel it and it doesn't really mean anything. He knows, that I love Chance. Maybe if Chance wasn't ever in my life, maybe if I'm not so stupid as to love Chance right now, maybe there could be a Dustin and Amber-Corinne. No one but Chance can call me Amber, and I want it that way. Because I may hate him, but I love him, and I want Chance to be that special one who has my heart.

And I get my wanted response.

Chance curses loudly behind us, and says, "Go on, Corinne," he sneers, "go and stay with your beloved Dustin Ridelink."

Before more tears escape my eyes I start walking faster, towards Dustin's pod. I step inside it, and start up the machine.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold up, girl," Dustin holds up both of his hands, and shoos me away from the pod's motherboard, and presses the brake, stopping the pod from rising.

I turn away from Dustin. At my reaction, he says calmly, "Don't be rash, Corinne, listen. I know you're mad at Chance now, but you didn't hear him out."

I shrug. "He was being awfully mean," I say, my voice breaking.

Dustin sighs. "Then at least do me a favor."

"What?" I ask irritably, spinning around.

Dustin leans against the controls of the pod. "I had this sister, you know."

My eyes widen. What? No, he'd never told anyone about her. Why is he using past tense? What happened to her?

Dustin nods. "And she had the same problem as you-she kept believing that she wasn't beautiful enough for...I don't know, everyone."

I avert my eyes guiltily. He doesn't know. I wanted to be perfect for my friends back then, for Chance. Now? I just want to live my life without anything bad getting in my way.

"And so one day she snapped, Corinne," Dustin runs a hand through his hair. Snapped? Like, mentally?

Stars, no. She didn't attempt suicide, did she? I know that it's possible to get very depressed after having negative thoughts, but...death?

"What'd she do?" I ask, having a bad feeling about this conversation.

"She threw herself into the Black Hole."