15: Lies

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Daves POV:

It's a new year.
New me.
New shit.
New everything.

I never go through with resolutions though. They always go downhill fast.
Although, I may do one this year and finally move out!

Dirk gave me a second present after and gave me a few hundred bucks for Christmas.

I was counting up the money when I heard a knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I said, quickly putting it away.

"IIt2 me."

"Come on in." I stood, putting the money back up in my closet.
The door opened, revealing Sollux. He was smiling, "Diirk wanted me two come get you. He 2aiid he ha2 another 2urprii2e."

"Really?" I tilted my head. Is Dirk on drugs or something?

"Yeah! Come on!" He pulled me out of the room.
He led me to the living room, where Dirk was standing.

"Um... What?" I asked, looking at him.

"Look behind you Dave." He smirks.

I looked behind me and- HOLY SHIT WE HAVE AN ACTUAL TV NOW!

"Oh my fucking God..does.. Does it have real channels?! What about Netflix?! Oh my god, do you know how badly I love been wanting to go and fucking 'Nerflix and Chill' ?!?! Holy fucking shit, I need to catch up on all of the fucking shows. Maybe keep up with the Kardashians? Nah, that show is so fucking stupid.. Maybe watch some good ol' SpongeBob. Yeah, Spongebobs a cool dude. And now you, Dirk, can finally have your brony get together parties on piece with the Zahhaks. Have fun with your friendship is magic or whatever. But when I'm here, this tv is fucking mine. Like holy shit. Yeah, I'm still gonna use the tv in my room to play games and shit.. But this glorious f-Erm... Whatever inch tv this is, is mine for strictly watching things. Not porn.. Well, maybe, but strictly for watching shows. Holy shit, has the Walking Dead ended? Oh my god, there's a DVR!!! I CAN RECORD EVERYTHING-"

"DAVE!" Both Dirk and Sollux shouted at me.

"What?"

"You're rambling about getting a fucking tv. Jesus Christ, what the fuck Dave?" Dirk gave me a strange look, shaking his head. "You're a fucking weirdo."

"Oh IM the weirdo??"

"Guy2, calm the fuck down. Dave, iit2 only a tv. Diirk, relax. He obviiou2ly 2eem2 to have a fetii2h for televii2iion."

"Ah yes." I put a hand over my chest, 'swooning'.
"My lovely TV fetish. Oh please fuck me in the middle of the night tv. I can't wait to lick across your screen and open you up to see your wires of all colors. Oh please show me a good time~" I traced my finger along the side of the tv.

I think they have both lost faith in me, due to both of them face palming with a loud groan.

"Okay, I'm leaving before this gets any weirder.. Also, the tv is from the Lalondes. They wished us Merry Christmas and a Happy Fucking New Year. " Dirk said and quickly absconded to the room.

"Well that wa2 weiird.." Sollux said, looking at me.

"Soooo~" I strode over to his side, draping my arm over his shoulder. "Would you like to Netflix and Chill~?"

"What the fuck doe2 that mean?"
Oh great, he doesn't know.

"Wait!" Dirk yelled, coming back out.
"Turn the tv onto LOLAR NEWS! Terezi said something important was on there. It should be time for it."

"Uh.." I picked up the remote and pressed the power button.
"What channel is LOLAR?"

"I think... Channel four or 13?" Dirk sat on the couch.
"II2nt iit 413?"

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