Insanity | A Hobbit Fanfiction

Chapter 22

The moment Thorins lips brushed hers, Zephira leaped up.

"We have to make it believable!" She blurted out.

Thorin, who had tipped foreword on the bed and ended up with a face full of bed sheets, gave a muffled, "Mmfh?"

"Bel-iev-a-ble," she said again, slower.

"Yes, I heard that." He said, sitting up and rather upset that he hasn't kissed her. "But why-?"

"They're all expecting us to have sex, and if it doesn't look like we did we'll be in trouble."

Thorin blinked. Then he gave her an amused look and said, "I'm a King. I don't think 'being in trouble' is such a large concern."

"I'm not speaking of a four-year-olds trouble." She snapped. "I mean a thousands-of-years-old witches wrath."

"I- you're thousands of years old?"

"I'm speaking of Lucretia."

"Ah,"

"Yes,"

"So... She'll be upset you lied."

"Yes,"

"So... We must make it look like we were together tonight."

"Yes,"

"How?"

"Well..." She thought. "We'll have to sleep together. As in, literally sleep, so if someone comes it we'll look like it."

"Alright," he said. He clambered backwards so he was at the headboard of the bed. "Now what?"

She walked over to the small table and grabbed a bottle of... He wasn't sure what it was.

She popped the cork off, and took a long swig. "Here," she offered after she took a breath. "Get drunk."

"W-what? Why?"

"That's the only way you'll end up being helpful."

"That's offensive."

"It was meant to be."

"Hmph," he snatched the bottle and drank.

It was good, bit bubbly, but good.

Once half the bottle was gone, he asked, "Now what?"

"Um..." She bit her lip, which Thorin found distracting. "Take your clothes off."

He choked. "Begging your pardon?"

"Lie in your small clothes. No shirt."

"I-I, but, we... I don't..." He spluttered.

"Be-liev-able," she said.

He sighed. "Fine. Have it your way." He took off the light shirt he was wearing, and tossed it to the floor in a crumpled heap.

"Nice touch,"

"Thank you." He shimmied out of his pants and tossed them as well. Now he was all but naked, only a thing layer if fabric covering his legs. "What about you?"

"What?"

"Aren't you going to strip?" He asked.

She sighed. "You make it sound so /dirty/..." But she undid her dress and slipped it off before Thorin could so much as cover his eyes.

"Zephira!" He cried.

"What?" She asked, now wearing only the bottom part of her dress.

"Gods... /cover yourself up/!" He tried not to stare at her breasts, but really, how could he not? They were just /there/!