Less Than Three

Chapter 29: Imagine That

11:10 AM Research Question: Is there a warm and fuzzy way to dump a boyfriend?

Madison and I were supposed to go swimming at the lake. We'd made plans for it days ago, when we were at the mall. Of course, that was before I gave up on finding a new bathing suit. And before I gave up on resisting Dave. It was before Madison gave up on resisting Dave too.

I didn't know what to say when she suggested inviting him along. I wanted to see him. Sure. But did I want to see him pretend to be with her? Would he still pretend to be with her? And what if he was not pretending?

He was. He had to be. But that road led directly to another problem. Because, you see, in the process of realizing that I want to be with Dave Brown, that I need to be with Dave Brown, I had been less than honest with my best friend. I had even, perhaps, led her into a situation which might cause her pain.

P.S. What kind of monster am I?

Dave declined Madison's invitation. At first I was relieved. But then I started thinking. (Trust me, not a good idea.) Brady was coming home. Wouldn't Dave want to see me while he still had a chance? Did he really intend to not talk to me until/unless I broke up with Brady? Was I really going to do it?

4:38 PM Here's what you had to say:

From the GRRRLS~

ittybittykitty: She could go the buddy route. You know, have her friend tell his friend. It seems kind of middle school-ish when I type it, but at least she wouldn't have to look at him when she does it.

paperkut_cutie: How about a letter? A guy did that for me once. In it, he told me how cool I was and what an idiot he must be for breaking up with me. It still hurt but when I think about it now, it wasn't so bad.

pandamaniac: I give my ex's a gift when I dump 'em. The last guy got a video game. He was so excited about it that he barely hung around for the tearful good-bye scene.

flowrgrrl: Wow. Are you really going to do this?

herbestfriend: I can't believe you won't tell me who this is. I could help if you'd just give me DETAILS. C'mon, Summer, what are best friends for?

I responded:

dear itty, Employing a buddy is very tempting but don't you think the boyfriend deserves a face to face?

dear paperkut_cutie, I like the idea of a letter but again, I think the girl owes it to the guy to let him see her squirm. Don't you?

dear pandamaniac, I think you're on to something with the gift idea. lmao.

dear flowrgrrl: Who are you?

dear her(my)bestfriend, I wish I could tell you, Madison. P.S. I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

And the BOYZ:

murderator writes: Sometimes the end of a relationship isn't anybody's fault. She should tell him that -- in person. Phone/text/buddy break ups suck.

sergio writes: Short and sweet.

SK84U writes: Just rip his heart right out and hand it to him. That's the way girls usually do it, isn't it?

I responded:

dear murderator, Is this really you? It's so adorable. I promise, no phone/no text/no buddy.