Less Than Three

Chapter 36: WhatWouldWileECoyoteDo?

Thursday, July 3, 6:01 AM Term of the Day: Persona-non-grata - uh, that would be me?

Sometimes I wonder if I am missing a gene. There are things that everyone else in the world seems to understand. But me? I don't get it. I mean, even J-a-a-y-cob knew the thing with Dave could never work out. Jacob: Who knows nothing.

In case you were wondering, I chose to wear pink to the festival. But even the spangly tube top/cummerbund couldn't save me. I was walking along with the parents, talking about color theory and shoving bites of corn dog into my mouth when I spotted:

Brady ...

and Dave ...

together.

Maybe my mom has ESP like Craig, or maybe she's just been reading far too much over my shoulder. Either way, she could tell something was wrong. She threaded her fingers through my hair, rubbed the back of my neck and asked, "Do you want me to drive you home?"

Go figure. All summer long I'd been opening my big mouth (and big fingers) but the one time I should have spoken up, or at least nodded and grabbed my dear mother's hand and let her lead me away from the dark and dismal fate that awaited me, I did nothing.

She looked at me again, reached over to tug my tube top higher, and handed me $10. "Call if you need me," she said. 

And what, exactly, was I supposed to do?

I'll tell you this: following the boys was not the best choice. 

I couldn't help myself though. You know what people say about driving past a car wreck, how you just can't turn away? It was like that, like I was pulled along by some awful magnetic force and I could not drag myself in another direction. Not even when Brady looked back at me and smirked. Yes. Smirked. Not even when Dave Brown turned on the laser beams.

I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to him while Brady wasn't looking. Dave set his jaw and swallowed (so hard that I could see his Adam's apple bob up and down in his silky, sandpaper neck). Then he turned back around to discuss the merits of different stupid video games with Brady. I didn't know what had happened since Dave got back to town, but something had. 

It was clear: They both hated me.

So did everyone else. I kept searching for a friendly face, someone who seemed like they might take pity on me and invite me to join them, but no. Not even the 4th grade girls who sometimes followed me around and begged me to teach them how to skateboard.

When I spotted Madison walking with Jacob, my first thought was: Hallelujah! My best friend! But then I remembered that we may not be best friends these days. And tears swamped my eyes.

I hate crying. Crying in public is for girls. And yes I know, I am a girl, but I'm not that kind of girl. So instead of crying, I ran. But running against a whole tide of people is harder than you think. And when I bounced off a lady and her little kid, I had to stop.

That's when I spotted the tent. It was an ordinary looking thing on the outside, like something you'd see pitched in someone's backyard on a warm summer night. There was a sign in front of it though. It had two big eyes on it, and it read: NEED ANSWERS? SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS IN STORE FOR YOU. MADAME IRENE TELLS ALL!

When I was ten, I was desperate to visit Madame Irene's tent. I remember the night that I broke my piggy bank and hauled twenty pounds of coins to the fairgrounds, just to have a chance to peek inside. Once I got there though, I was afraid to go in. I just stood there in front of the tent with my paper sack of nickels, until Madame Irene herself poked out her head.

I didn't think it was the real Irene at the time. She looked too normal. But then she smiled at me and said, "Dear one, save your pennies. You don't need me yet." And something in the way she said it made me realize she was right. It was like she'd worked some kind of drunk tank pink magic on me. I couldn't even remember what it was I'd had such a burning desire to know.

But things had changed. That night at the festival I would have given anything to find out what was going to happen next. Lucky for me, I had Mom's ten bucks.

Did I say luck? Ha.

I slipped under the tent's flap and waited while my eyes adjusted to the candlelight. When they did, they landed on Kiersten. Madame Irene was searching her palm while a tear slid down my one-time friend's cheek. She looked over at me and tried to smile.

I think I said something like 'Sorry, I'll wait outside' but Madame Irene said, "Oh." Then, "We're done for now, aren't we?" to Kiersten, who nodded, then scooted past me real quick without looking at me again.

Madame Irene did look at me though, and kept looking. Finally she said, "You're the cause of all this." It was a statement, not a question.

And, even though I did not know what she was talking about I said, "I guess."

After that, it was like I was some kind of cartoon character in a trance. I was compelled to walk across the canvas floor, compelled to sit at the star covered table with Madame Irene, compelled to listen to whatever it was she thought I needed to hear.

Which was highly interesting but extraordinarily confusing stuff. And which I was not allowed to tell anyone about for at least 48 hours, because it might ruin my chakra and disturb the Madame's energy ... or something like that.

I felt hungry when it was over (wired/weird, I know) so I stood in the elephant ear line. I was holding my hair up off of my neck because it was just so hot when KAPOW! Lightning flashed across the sky, then BOOM! Thunder followed. The sky kapowed and boomed again. In the next moment, everyone was running for cover as sheets of rain began to fall and the lights blinked out all over the fairgrounds. 

I ducked into the nearest building and smacked straight into someone. "Sorry," I said and started to move away, but the body pulled me closer. And I could tell who it was just by feel, because I had been in those arms before.

I wanted to tell him ... oh, everything (chakra be damned) but when I started to speak he said, "Shhhhhh," and held me next to him. I could tell by the way he whispered it that we were hiding. I could tell that he knew I wasn't strong enough to change things. I could tell he was no longer sure he was strong enough to change me. 

And I hated us for it. 

He released me when the lights started to flicker on and was gone before I could see his face.

***

It was still raining but I stepped outside and let it soak me through. Brady spotted me from the Merchant's Hall and yelled my name. I didn't want to talk to him. Not yet. I kept walking and pretended I hadn't heard him for the thunder. He shouted again and I saw him hold out a hand to test the raindrops as I passed. I saw Jacob too, as he gave Brady the shove that sent him tripping in my direction. If I was the Roadrunner, I would have been outta there.

But I am Wile E. Coyote.

Brady grabbed my hand and spun me in his direction. He said, "Summer, this is stupid." And, because those are the words all coyotes (and good girlfriends) long to hear, I let him push the rain plastered strands of hair off my face. I let him cram his lips against mine. I let him flatten me. Yet again.

And the worst part of it was this: When I woke the next day, I felt relieved.

<3