da tru storeh of ashtun irwein

chaptah seyvun

i has deecyded tat i hav 2 get 20 vots on eych chaptah and thehn i wil updayt so pls vot !!

---

for days, ashtun had called nash grier again and again, saying weird shit to him, which obviously scared him. he had downloaded a 'stalk nash grier' app so that he would never lose track of him. nash could never escape.

ashtun sat by his telephone in the dildo factory, waiting to see if nash would ring him back. he had just rung the band's old house, where michelle and column were, and told them 'tuna salad.' nash grier had obviously gone there to hide in the basement with poot. but he could never escape ashtun's wrath. never.

just when ashtun thought that he would never get a call back, the phone rang. he reached for it, and picked up. "hello?" he called. "is this ashtun??" the voice of michelle came through the speaker. "i know this isn't the best time, but column has gone missing. i can't find him anywhere. i think he's been taken." she sounded very worried. "you've not taken him, have you ashtun?" she asked.

"wtf?? no. get back to your nash grier vine account with only 100 loops you soggy snail." he told her, then hung up. she was obviously making it all up to try and make him come back to their home. even if he wanted to, he couldn't. lucia was still missing, and he had to carry out his evil plan on column and michelle. ashtun decided that he should try and ring nash's  cellphone again. maybe he would pick up.

when the phone was finally answered, it wasn't nash. it was poot. in the background, you could hear a muffled crying sound. "is this ashtun?" poot asked. "yeah, how's it going poot my famalam? is nash there with ye?" ashtun asked.

"yeah, he's here. he's tied up. i'm just about to skin him and eat his liver. i'm sort of busy right now, so can you call back?" she sounded impatient. ashtun nodded. at least now he wouldn't have to kill nash himself. "ok poot, cya. make sure to tell michelle that nash is dead."
"no problem fam." said poot. ashtun heard nash scream through the telephone before it all went silent.

he decided to leave his phone and go and plan for how he was going to kill column instead. he would do it somehow.

----

michelle sat in the basement, crying. poot sat across the room, eating her dinner. it was nash's liver. nash was dead, but michelle swore that she could still hear him whisper, "yes it is, fag" and "arm hair is gross." every few minutes. she was going to kill herself to be with nash. she loved him too much. crying, she held the gun to her head. and then she shot it. the water pistol killed her instantly. she was gone. poot shrugged and said, "finally that cracker ass raisin face is gone." r.i.p. michelle.