Living in a Jumble of Wishes

Chapter 13

Living in a Jumble of Wishes

Chapter 13

I was dreading Monday. I didn’t want to face Zack at all. What would he say to me? What would I say to him?

I never thought I would be in a situation like this. Everytime I imagined having a boyfriend, I would imagine this really cute guy with innocent blue eyes and a permanent smile and dimples. He would be the guy that would hold my hand all the time, ask for my permission before he steals my first kiss, be the perfect gentleman, make my parents say that I should marry him, not just date him, give me a rose when he sees me or simply give me a small gift saying that he saw it at the mall and it reminded him of me. All in all, I imagined the perfect guy that exists in two places only: a book and a movie.

Zack seemed like the perfect guy for me.

I mean Zack was the guy every girl— and some guys—wanted to date. He was extremely hot, for one, and two, he was the most popular guy at school.

Everyone knew who Zack was and now everyone knew who I was just because I was his girlfriend.

But what will happen when people find out about what happened at the party?

How will they react?

Do I even want to know the stories that would be spread around the school?

Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone about what happened. I didn’t want people thinking that I was just a stupid virgin.

It’s true that I was a virgin but that’s because I don’t believe in having sex without being in love with the other person.

And I had known Zack for a short time and I wasn’t in love with him yet. I did like him but liking someone is not the same as loving someone.

I wanted to go through all the stages of a relationship. I wanted to start by the exciting first date, the blushing, the holding hands, the hugs, the deep conversations, the pecks on the cheek, the sharing-secrets, the more intense kisses, the long romantic walks, the meeting-the-parents, the family dinners, the small cute gifts, and the ‘I love you’. I wanted all these things.

I wanted to fall in love.

I wanted a guy that has flaws that will make me angry and that will make us fight at times. I wanted a guy that is not perfect. I wanted to love a guy with all his flaws and mistakes.

And maybe, maybe what Zack did on Friday was one of his mistakes; maybe being late to every date was one of his flaws.

If I was going to break up with every guy that does a mistake or has a flaw then I will never fall in love, right?

Maybe I should forgive Zack.

I mean if I didn’t forgive him we will break up and I will lose the most popular guy at school. Heck, I will lose all my popular friends. Zack is the top of the popular group, they’ll kick me out and not him especially after they hear what happened.

I’m pretty sure they all had sex more than once so not only will I be out of the group, but I will also be bullied about it for the rest of my high school years.

“We need to talk,” Zack’s voice made me jump, not noticing that I was already in class. I had been so lost in thought that I didn’t even notice that I had arrived here.

I didn’t know if it was the way he was looking at me, or the way all the popular group was watching us from the other side of the class, or the thought of being bullied, was what made me nod, already knowing how the conversation was going to unfold.