Living in a Jumble of Wishes

Epilogue

Living in a Jumble of Wishes

Epilogue

Sitting on the stairs with snow falling around me, my thoughts went back to the start of it all. I was back at the age of fourteen, sitting in front of my mirror and thinking about how much I wanted to be pretty.

That was the first wish that had ever come true for me. Well, that was what I had thought back then anyway. Maybe it was never this way. Maybe it was just coincidences or all just in my mind.

I mean come on, wishes coming true? Those things only happened in movies, not in real life. Maybe I was just so desperate for the wishing thing to be true that I thought that it actually did become true.

Now, thinking back to all the wishes I have made, I noticed that they were all stupid. The really meaningful and useful wishes were the ones that never came true.

Maybe there was a time where my wishes were coming true but after they messed thing up for me, they just stopped.

Maybe that was all just a lesson for me.

Ever since the day that I wished for Landon to forgive me after the carnival thing, I never wished for something again.

I know that Landon eventually forgave me but that wasn’t because of the wish; that was something I did. I didn’t want to wish anymore because I did not want to depend on fictional things to help me solve my problems and get everything I wanted.

I wanted to work for the things I want. I wanted to make mistakes and fix them on my own, without the help of wishes.

And as the wishing free years passed, I noticed that I was better off without them. I learned to appreciate the things I got on my own and I learned that working for things is much, much better than having them handed to you.

Back in high school, I worked for my grades and I was proud of myself when I got a good grade. It made me want to work even more.

And during my college years I also worked hard for my grades and my work paid off because I was getting really good grades.

I didn’t go to a university abroad at first, I wanted to stay close to home mainly because I wanted to stay near my mom. It was hard for her those years after my father passed away.

We were now okay again and better than before. It had been four years since that day. We both still feel the ache and we both still miss him but we started accepting it.

Carla and Kate went to the same university as me. The first year went as we had always planned. All three of us were at the same university and we were even closer than we were in high school.

Landon wanted to study medicine. He got a scholarship to McGill in Canada but he said that he didn’t want to go if I wasn’t there. I didn’t agree to that, of course.

I recall the day that it happened.

“Look at this!” He had yelled as he barged into my room on a Saturday afternoon.

I took the letter from his hands and read that they had offered him a scholarship. I was so proud of him and he looked so happy and excited.

“Will you go with me? To Canada?” He asked that day, his green eyes bright and filled with happiness.

I didn’t want to take away that happiness from him, but I couldn’t agree to go with him.

“Landon…” I trailed off. “I-I can’t leave my mom. I really want to go with you but I just can’t.”