A pain in our world. [Kaulitz twins fan fiction]

Love last forever.

*Couple months later*

 Life doesn’t seem right without Ana. All of us have been in this depressing state, especially Georg. I know he truly loved her, and this is so hard for him. Bill and I have been going up to the roof everyday, we wanted to take Georg with us, but I thought that he might come up here one day without us and jump off the edge. I wouldn’t want him to do that, and have it be our fault. We tried many ways to get Georg out of the house and have fun, but he isn’t wanting to. He just sits in his room and stares at the wall.

  Georg has been like this for a bit too long. I don’t care anymore! I’m taking him up to the roof with Bill and me.

I walk into Georg’s room… “Georg, tonight you are going out with Bill and me. I understand how you are feeling an-”

“You know how I feel?? YOU know how I FEEL?! OF ALL PEOPLE YOU?! HA! I highly doubt that. You still have the love of your life, YOU still get to enjoy things. YOU don’t know HOW I feel.” He yelled at me

“Yes Georg I know how you feel!!! Remember I have depression!? I know what it feels like to be sad all the time, to want to die, to feel like no one cares about you! Even the people that care the most about you, they don’t mean anything. Depression take over your life and you have it bad right now! You need to get out of here because staying in here isn’t gonna help anything!!” I shout back and slammed the door shut.

I walked downstairs to where Tom and Ebony were sitting on the couch. I sat in the chair across from them.

“Georg is worse than I thought. I went in there to talk with him about coming with Bill and I and he just screamed in my face. I yelled back at him and I slammed the door. I don’t know what to do.” I said

“The only thing that you can do is give him time. If he doesn’t want to go out, you can’t force him cause he will stay in the room even longer, you should know that Jackie, you know, with your depression.” Ebony said

“Yea I do know. And people would always force me to go out and I would feel better about myself.”

“Well not everyone is that way. I mean, Georg has never had depression before, or anything similar to it. Maybe the only way he can get a bit happier is to stay in his room and think. The most dangerous thing to do is sit in a room by yourself with nothing but your thoughts. I do that everyday. Constantly thinking, can really destroy you. He doesn’t have to go out, but he has to find little things that make him happy, like listening to music, or watching youtube, ANYTHING that can make him forget what he feels, even for a moment. Because truly, it’s the little things that can make you the happiest.”

“Yea I guess you’re right Ebony. I shouldn’t have only thought about myself.”

I stood up and walked back upstairs to Georg’s room. I walked in,

“Hey Georg, I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. I wasn’t only thinking about myself and didn’t realize people handle things in there own way.”

He didn’t look at me at all. He stood up and gave me a hug.

“I’m sorry Jackie. I shouldn’t have yelled at you the way I did. I wasn’t thinking and I completely forgot about your depression. Is it still okay if I come with you and Bill tonight?”

“Yes of course. We'll be leaving in about 10 minutes."

I closed the door and went down the hall to Bill.

"Georg is going to come with us tonight." I said

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Honestly, I don't think so but maybe it'll actually help him. I don't want him to be in this house any longer."

"I don't have a good feeling about this Jackie."

"Don't worry babe. If anything happens it'll be my fault.... and that's what i'm scared of."

I cuddled into Bill for a few minutes. Then we went downstairs and waited for Georg.

We got in the car and drove off to the roof.

When we got to the roof, Bill and I sat on the sofa. Georg sat near the edge for a few moments.

"This feels great. Thank you both for taking me with you." Georg said

"Anytime." I replied

Georg came over and sat with us. We stayed up and talked for a while. Then we all kind of fell asleep.

I was the first one awake.... Or so I thought. I didn't see Georg anywhere. I looked all over the roof. I stuck my hands in my pockets and found a note. I read,

'Thank you for taking me up here. Now for sure I can be with Ana. Tell everyone I love them, but this is something I had to do, Love Georg.'

I looked down and walked across the edge looking for his body. The police were down there, so I decided to walk down there and talk with them.

"Excuse me ma'am, do you know anything about this young man here?" an officer said to me.

They moved out of the way so I could see who it was.

"Yes...... Yes I know who that is........" It was hard for me to say it. "That's my good friend Georg Listing."

"Could you tell us what happened?"

"My boyfriend and I always come up to this roof to relax. I thought that Georg would want to join us, since his girlfriend died in a terrible car accident a couple of months ago. I didn't think that he would commit suicide."

"Where is your boyfriend now?"

"He is still on the roof sleeping."

A few moments later, Bill came down.

"Oh my god, Jackie! Is that Georg?!" He said

"Yea......"

I cried into Bill.

"I'm sorry for your loss." the officer said.

He walked away and the ambulance came and picked up Georg.

Bill and I got in the car and drove home.

I felt so guilty! I basically killed Georg!! What kind of person am I?? Tokio Hotel will never be the same again. The band that has helped me through my depression, is now forever gone, because I basically killed Georg. I can't live like this, I don't want to live with this guilt over my head!

I looked over at the night stand and saw the sleeping pills...... I thought about taking a lot of them. Just to finally end it all. Maybe I will take the pills, maybe I won't.