A pain in our world. [Kaulitz twins fan fiction]

It all ends.

I sat down on the bed. I held the bottle of pills in my hand. I stared at them. I heard the door open, but I didn't bother to look who it was.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" A voice said

 I quickly slipped the pills into my mouth. I swallowed all of the pills. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I sat next to the toilet.

"Jackie!! Jackie PLEASE UNLOCK THE DOOR!!" Bill shouted

He was banging on the door has hard as he could.
My stomach started hurting. It felt like something was bubbling. I couldn't bare the feeling anymore, so I stuck my finger to the back of my throat to hit my gag reflex. All the pills came out, and I got this horrible pill taste in my mouth. I unlocked the door, completely ignoring Bill, I went downstairs and got food cause I felt hungry after that.

"Hey babe. Hello Jackie??!" Bill said

I turned to him and said, "yes Bill. What is it?"

"Why were you trying to kill yourself?"

I turned around and continued making my pizza.

"Jackie, honey, you need to talk with me. I can't bare to see you like this."

I looked at him and then quickly turned away from him. I couldn't bare to look at him when I feel this way.

He walked over to me and hugged me. I could feel tears coming out of my eyes. I pushed Bill away and put the pizza in the oven.

"Bill.... I really don't want to cry right now so please don't hug me." I said

I could see that he really wanted to hug me. After a while, he quickly grabbed me and held me tight. I couldn't move at all. 

It felt like a monsoon on my face. I was crying so much and so hard. I wanted him to let go, but I really needed his embrace. 

I got tired of standing for so long, I started sliding down to the floor. I was sitting on the kitchen floor and Bill was checking the pizza. I held my hand on my head in shock of what I was doing earlier. I can't believe that I was actually trying to kill myself. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but looking back, it doesn't seem worth it. But now that I say that, i'll probably end up trying again...  I don't mean to be this way, it's just... it's just how I am, and I can't change it.

I got up from the ground and grabbed a couple of plates. I placed them on the table while Bill was cutting the pizza. He placed the pizza slices on the plate, we sat down and ate.... In silence.. I never felt more awkward in my life. Here is the man I love, sitting and eating with me, when just a few minutes ago, I tried to kill myself.... I don't think I could ever look him in the eyes again.

 After I was done eating, I ran upstairs and layed on the bed. I never wanted to leave the room again. I hated everything that was happening and I hated how I felt. I wanted everything to end, and at the same time, I wanted to stay here and be with Bill. But I know that I can't be with someone and not enjoy my own life, that's not fair.

"Bill... I'm not happy with my life right now. I don't seem to be getting any better. Normally I have maybe one or two signs to show that i'm getting better, but nothing. I'm ready to end it all." I say

"So is this it? Where just ending it all now?"

"I want to, because it's not fair to you that i'm feeling this way, and I don't feel like i'm giving you all my love."

"Well if you're leaving, then i'm going with you. There is no else I want to spend forever with." he said

I couldn't believe he said that. I would have thougt he'd say 'oh baby no. We'll get through this together.' He completely surprised me.

"I'm kind of glad you said that, because I spiced our drinks."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I did the same." he said

Great. Now we're doubled drugged up.

We lay in bed together and make out until we take our last breath. I don't who left first, but we are both gone. No sound, no sight, no nothing.