TCAY2: Remembering The Chase

17. Duke

Holding Back

"Audrey." tawag ko sa kanya. Pinilit kong ituwid ang boses ko pero lumabas pa ding pagsumamo ang pagtawag ko sa kanya.

I think I've recited all the curses that's been created.

She looked at me deeply. There are accusasion, pain and sadness in her eyes.

I tried to move closer but she didn't let me to.

"Audrey." bulong ko ulit sa pangalan n'ya.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. My mind is a mess and I can't make up a good excuse to everything that Harley said.

After a long fcking silence. She spoke.

"Duke, naging parte ka ba ng past ko?" mahinang sambit nya pero rinig na rinig ko yon.

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko sa kanya at pumikit ng mariin. "Sorry." Yun lang ang tangi kong nasabi at hindi ko alam kung narinig nya iyon.

Crap.

Narinig ko ang pagsinghap nya kaya tiningnan ko sya ulit. Tuloy tuloy ang pagtulo ng luha nya.

I wanted to wipe those tears but I hold myself back

"I thought so. Kaya pala iba ang nararamdaman ko sa'yo. Kaya pala parang sobrang pamilyar ka para sa akin. Kaya pala parang nasasaktan ako pag nakikita kita. Kaya pala parang sobrang totoo yung mga panaginip ko. Kaya pala.." she mumbled to herself.

She wiped her own tears pero hindi pa din yun tumitigil.

"Why.. why you pretend you don't know me? Sino ka ba sa buhay ko?" she asked me and move a step closer.

I wanted to move forward but I stop myself. I didn't know what to say or how to answer his question.

"Answer me please." she plead. More tears fall from her eyes.

I harshly wipe the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes.

I don't answer her. Ayokong magsalita dahil baka sumabog ako sa harap nya and I don't want to mess up this fcking situation.

She moved closer and closer. I can't breathe.

"Why, D?" she whisper but it came too loud.

D...

Naalala ko yung kwento na sinabi ko sa kanya nung huling gabi na nagkasama kami sa resort.

Nagulat ako sa inasal nya. May naalala na sya?

Pero mas nagulat ako nang tinulak nya ako at lumakas ang pag-iyak nya.

"Based on my dreams and your story about D and his girl, I'm that girl, right?" she said between her sobs.

Ang pinipigilan kong luha ay tumulo na. It fcking hurts. So much. I know how to end this sht but I can't afford to do it. Sandali palang kami nagkita pero ginugulo ko na agad ang buhay nya. I don't want to wreck it more.

"Why? Why did you let go? I forget the memories but this pain that I always felt never stopped." tuloy nya.

Hawak ko ang parehong kamay nya na tumutulak-tulak sa akin kanina.

"You and me. That's the reason. You and me, the end. An 'us' is too fcking complicated. You're happy and I'm happy." I choke at the last word that I said. The way I'm feeling right now is far from happy.

I let go of her hand. She's quiet.

She looked at me and smile. She put one of her hand on my face and wiped my tears.

"Even though it hurts. Even though I can't sleep every night because I knew that I will dream of you again. Even though everything is complicated..." she whispers to me.

I closed my eyes. "I want to remember my memories with you, Duke." she added.

Every damn thing that I'm thinking vanishes. I'm tired of holding back. I wanted to feel her. Just this one.

I open my eyes then grab her close to me.

I closed my eyes again. Every fcking feeling burst into my heart when I feel her lips met mine.

I kissed her like nothing happened. I kissed her with hunger and all the feelings I'm feeling right now. I kissed her like there's an us.

And she kissed me the same.

I moved away then put my forhead into her. I looked at her intently and she looked back the way she looked at me five years ago.

"Let's end this chase, Audrey. Let's forget that we meet each other again. Go back to your normal life."

Bakas ang gulat sa mga mata nya pero nabaling ang atensyon namin ng biglang tumunog ang phone n'ya.

She only looked at it.

"Answer it. Maybe it's your boyfriend. I'll go." sabi ko at tumalikod na para umalis.

Hindi nya sinagot ang phone nya pero hindi nya din ako pinigilan.

Huminga ako ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili ko. I'm fcking crazy.

I can still feel her lips. Sht sht sht. This is really bad. I have to get away from this feeling if I want her to be happy.

Sapat na nalaman nya na may nakaraan kami. Sapat na, na alam nya na sinaktan ko sya. I'm the bad guy and she doesn't deserve me. I don't want her to remember those memories with me.

*

Kinuha ko ang phone ko para tingnan kung tumawag ba si Aleyna pagkatapos nyang kausapin si Harley.

Nagulat ako ng makita ang dami ng missed calls mula kay Zane, nurse ni Elena, pati na din kay Aleyna.

Kinakabahang tinawagan ko si Aleyna. Nawala ng saglit ang pag-iisip ko kay Audrey.

Agad nya iyong sinagot at sumalubong sa akin ang nanginginig na boses ni Aleyna.

"Aleyna! What happen?" natatarantang sabi ko.

"Duke, we need to go back to Canada. Elena... passed away."

*

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Short update but this is my fave chapter. THE FEELS.