I Know The Bad Boy's Secret

Chapter 11

Brendon's P.O.V

I wake up to pain. Pain all over. In my head, in my stomach, in my body. I sit up and clutch my head in my hands. My breathing is ragged and my vision is clouded. My hands wont stop shaking. My chest feels like it's collapsing and I don't know how to stop it. So, I do the only thing I can think of.

"Lucille... Lu-Lucy." I whisper, but slowly get louder. We are still on the phone, and looking at the time, we fell asleep a couple of hours ago. It was now 5:36 in the morning. I say her name a couple more times, sounding pathetic. I'm so god damn pathetic.

"Huh? Brendon? Is everything ok?" Her voice sneaks through the phone, immediately calming down my headache a tiny bit. I feel like shit for waking her up, but I need her help.

"Please. Help. I can't- I can't breathe. Help." Tears start falling, and I can't help it. I'm begging for help from a girl. I'm so pathetic.

"Okay. Listen to me. Calm down. Take a deep breath, can you do that for me?" Her voice has calmed down, but there is still tension in it. I feel so bad for waking her up..

"I can't. It hurts." My knees are to much chest and I'm staring at the phone.

"Okay. Put the phone next to your ear and lay down with me. Now slowly breath with me. Can you hear my breathing?" She is breathing right into the phone, slowly and deeply. I try to match it, and it's hard as hell, but I keep doing it anyway with a clenched fist.

"You got this, babe. I promise. Just keep listening to me. Clear your head and think about my breathing. Pretend there's a balloon in front of you, and when you inhale it gets bigger, and exhaling makes it deflate. Are you imagining it?" Her voice soothes me, and I follow as she says.

"Just keep breathing. You got this. You're doing great. Keep listening to me." She keeps breathing for a couple of minutes, and my chest finally loses the weight. I sigh, suddenly very, very tired.

"Are you ok, Bear?" Her voice is gentle, soft. I wonder if this is her voice she always has when she wakes up. I stare up at the ceiling, cracking my fingers.

"Much.. Thank you... I'm sorry.." I can't help the way my voice cracks when I talk. I hear her sigh.

"Good. Thank you for letting me help. Are you gonna be ok?" I hear her yawn on the other side, and I mentally beat myself up for waking her.

"Yeah, of course. Go back to bed. I'll talk to you at better hours." I sit up and take the phone.

"Ok... Be careful.. Call me if you need anything. Goodnight, Brendon." The way her voice sounds at the end sends shivers down my body, and I can't help but smirk.

"Goodnight, Princess Lucille. Sweet dreams." I hang up and put the phone down. Standing up, I feel all of my bones crack through my weak body. I grab a shirt to put on, and walk outside.

Standing beneath my window, I light a cigarette and inhale as deep as I can. Stupid, I know. But it helps...