I Hate You, I Love You

Chapter 20: Time Flies

*Unedited*

         

6 Months Later - June

I sat across from Riley as we shared lunch on the patio of a local bistro, her dog asleep at her feet. The summer air was dry and there wasn't much of a breeze making my skin blister with sweat. I took a drink from my ice water, the glass dripping with condensation. Smiling, Riley held up her fork offering me a bite of the salad bowl we were sharing. It was a familiar gesture, something we had done many times before. Before things went sour and I was forced into leaving. I shook my head pushing the bowl away from me and towards her.

"I can't eat anymore," I said.

"This is nice," Riley said. "I didn't think we'd ever get back to this."

"It's been easy to fall back into how things used to be." With a sigh, I shook my head. "But, Riley, those days are over."

She nodded. "I understand that. I'm happy to be your friend."

With lunch over, I followed Riley to her car as Sky trailed behind us, off-leash. She opened the hatchback and Sky jumped inside without instruction.

"You've done a great job training him."

"Thanks," she ducked her head, looking a bit uncomfortable with the compliment. "Honestly, I didn't think I'd be this great of a dog trainer."

She looked so cute with her cheeks flushed. "The work you've done with Sky speaks for itself," I said.

"Can I get hug?" she asked.

I nodded, opening my arms to her. She slipped her hands around my waist, her fingers interlocking behind my back as she squeezed. Her hugs were still the same. My skin prickled the same as she pulled me into her. My hands went to her shoulders and I pushed myself away. "Thanks for lunch, Riley."

Releasing me, she opened the driver door. "Are you sure I can't give you a ride home?"

"I enjoy the walk, but thanks."

I walked west towards the beach hoping to catch some kind of breeze with no luck. A scent caught me off guard and I spun around, searching. It wasn't her. She was thousands of miles away across the country.

With a sigh, I kept towards the beach, my thoughts drifting back to her. Her leaving. Her lying. I tried to keep the thoughts of her away and was doing a good job, but at night when I rolled over and felt the cool sheets beneath me is when I missed her the most. Missed her arms around me. Missed her breath on the back of my neck. Her smile at me as she sipped her morning coffee.

In the mornings I'd scroll through my contacts and hover over her name before remembering that she needed her space. I was frustrated that she didn't even want to talk to me after everything...all the plans we had made together.

And I couldn't even say her name. The ache inside my chest would lodge in my throat, preventing me from releasing the hurt I felt. Damn, I missed her. So much.

I no longer felt up for the beach. Turning around, I headed home and tried to push the sad thoughts away. A baby smiled at me from his stroller as I walked by which did nothing to brighten my mood. In an effort to cheer myself up, I gave Ally a call and invited her to get frozen yogurt.

When we met at the shop around the corner from my apartment Ally hugged me long and hard. "What are you having?" she asked. "I'm buying."

"Thanks, Als, but I'm so full from lunch. I just needed to see you."

"Aw," she pulled me into another hug. "You want to go back to your place and talk? Or we could go to my place."

"No," I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it. Not now," I added when I saw the flash of hurt cross her face.

"I'll be here when you do," she said with a sympathetic smile. She took my hand. "Come on, let's walk. I'll tell you about my day."

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Philadelphia, PA

Dinah put the finishing touches on the photograph that would complete her portfolio. The photo was of a weathered old woman wearing and oversized wool sweater that was littered with holes. The woman sat on a park bench knitting together a red scarf for herself. She didn't look at the camera as the wind whipped through her hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in months, but there was a smile on her face. She was happy despite her circumstances.

With a few clicks, Dinah printed the photo and slipped it into the last sleeve of her black leather portfolio before closing it and pushing it aside. She stood and stretched, looking around her small studio apartment. Boxes were packed and stacked awaiting the movers that would be there bright and early.

After months of putting together her portfolio and taking the time to focus on her work without distraction, Dinah was feeling good about the direction she was going. But she knew there was a lot of repair work to be done when she got home. When she left she didn't give much explanation other than needing space to take care of things and figure some things out for herself.

In the months that she'd been gone, Dinah had come to a conclusion. She just hoped that a certain someone would understand.