Author's Note: Okay, I really hate Author's Notes in the beginning of a chapter, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K reads!☺️ I'll make this chapter longer than all the other ones because I'm so happy!😁
*Phil's P.O.V.*
I messed up. I messed up so badly. I never had anything as good as Dan come into my life, and what do I do? I fuck everything up. I became a baby and couldn't handle the gay slurs for him. I never even considered that he went through much, much, worse before we started dating, but he never let it get under his skin.
But me? I've got to mess everything up. Why couldn't I just be happy? I had Dan. That should have been more than enough for me to toughen up and take it- because I had him. I had Dan. I had his hand in mine, I had his hugs, kisses, midday naps, dimpled cheeks, beautiful curls, caramel eyes, small hands, cute sneezes, funny hiccups- everything. I had Dan, but I fucked up.
I never realized how melancholy the word "had" actually is. It's like a smack in the face now. I had an incredible boyfriend. I had a hand to hold. I had someone to tell all my secrets to. I had Dan.
But now, Dan won't even talk to me, not that I blame him. I hate myself probably more than he hates me. I've sent him text after text, message after message, I try calling him every chance I get to just apologize and fix things, but nothing is working.
He also hasn't been at school in four days. I'm worried. P.J. and Chris refuse to look at me. I want to apologize, but after what Chris said to me, and how heated he was, I think the best thing is to get my act together before I screw anything else up.
I decided to go over to Dan's house today after school. He can't completely ignore me in person, right?
Once the bell for final dismissal rang, I scrambled out of my desk and out to the parking lot.
"Hey, Fag, where do you think you're headed?" Jake said.
"To my boyfriend's house." I said and got into the car.
I rolled down the window and said, "Hey, guys, just for the record, if you bully, physically hurt, or emotionally damage someone simply because they're gay, you're the real fags here."
I rolled up the window and drove away. I glanced in my rearveiw mirror to see the group, dumbfounded and staring after my car. I couldn't help but laugh.
I drove to Dan's house and didn't see a car in the driveway. I didn't think much of it considering his mum is always working and he's left home alone most of the time.
I got of my car and started walking towards the house. I noticed a piece of paper tapped to the door. I walked towards it to get a better look.
Hey, Mum. Dad and I went out again to visit another boarding school. I should be home in time for dinner if traffic allows ._. But, I'll see you soon.
Love you,
Daniel.<3
"Boarding school?" I said under my breath. The information suddenly clicked.
"Boarding school!" I yelled to myself and banged on the door.
I knew he wasn't there and no one would answer the door, but I kept knocking until my vision became blurry with tears, and then some. I was yelling Dan's name and apologizing. Finally, I just placed my forehead on the door and kept mouthing, "I'm sorry, Dan..."
I pulled a pen out of my pocket and wrote my own note on the paper.
Dan, I know you don't want anything to do with me, and I understand. Just please talk to me. I promise you I will fix this. I know I was awful and you had every right to walk away, but I'm not saying goodbye to you, not like this. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. I love you, so much, Bear.
