Chapter 19

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"I made a mistake and I need your help."

"You need my help?"

"Look, Joe, just hear me out," I pleaded, preparing his usual late-night cup of coffee, "Say you were to take this class, and you were the only student. The teacher doesn't like you very much to start, but after a little while, the teacher starts to like you. And the teacher doesn't just like you, but they start to like you in a more-than-a-student kind of way. And subsequently, you start to like them in a more-than-a-teacher kind of way, even though you've made it very clear to them that you don't like them. What would you do?"

He stood there for a second before crossing his arms and asking, "Is this teacher hot?"

"Very," I didn't hesitate to answer, though I instantly regretted it the second that word slipped from my mouth. Especially since it came out as a sort of...purr. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, praying that he didn't notice. Or if he did, he wouldn't say anything.

"And they didn't like you before but now they do?" He inquired, my prayers miraculously being answered.

"Right."

"Okay, okay. And you like them back?"

"Enough with the questions and just tell me what you would do!" I snapped impatiently, glancing over my shoulder at him.

He stared at me blankly, "Ev, I-I don't know what I would do. I'm sorry."

I groaned and capped his coffee with a plastic lid, trapping all of the steam that billowed up from the paper cup into my face. I turned around and slid him his drink across the counter.

"Why?" He questioned, picking up his cup and taking a sip.

"I don't know..." I mumbled disappointedly, punching his order into the cash register, "...I was just wondering, I guess."

Joe tried meeting my gaze that I kept locked on the cash register in attempt to avoid his. "Evie, did something happen between you and Patrick?" I remained silent. "Oh my god, something did! Something totally did! You have to tell me." He leaned on the counter and rested his chin on his balled-up fist, as if he was one of the popular girls at high school who needed to know anything and everything about everyone in the school and I was his undercover spy.

"What? No. Nothing happened," I lied, blood rushing to my cheeks and giving them a red pigment, "I mean, I-I don't know..."

"Yes you do. You like him," He said in a teasing kind of way, the corners of his lip curling up into a sly grin.

"No, he likes me and I still love Tyler." At least, that's what I kept telling myself, hoping that if I kept telling myself that, that I'd grow to believe it.

"Sure, Ev, sure," He retorted sarcastically. I gave him a disconcerted look. "Hey, speaking of Tyler, what happened? I heard he was in the hospital."

"What? How'd you hear that?"

"A friend of mine who works there told me. Marie."

"Oh," I muttered, remembering I had to finish his order and telling him how much it was going to be.

"Yeah," He pulled out a five dollar bill and handed it to me, "She told me that he's in pretty critical condition, but she refuses to tell me why. 'Confidentiality', I guess. Complete bullshit in my opinion."

"Look, I just don't want to talk about it," I murmured as I counted his change and gave it to him.

"If you didn't want to talk about, you wouldn't have brought it up."

I scoffed, "I didn't bring it up! You did!"

He smirked and shook his head, "I only brought it up because I know you wanted to talk about it." He took another quick sip of his steaming beverage, "You talk to me about everything, Ev. That's why we became friends. Because you needed someone to talk to and so did I."

I couldn't hold back the abashed smile that stretched across my face. He was right.

"You know what I think you should do, Ev?" He said the thing I wanted to hear since the beginning of his and my conversation, "I think you should stop lying to yourself. Because you're a really bad liar and lying to yourself is what made you so unhappy in the first place. So why not embrace the truth and finally be happy for once?" And without saying another word to me, he spun around and left the University's coffee shop, the little bell above the door ringing.

The smile on my face faded and I glanced over at Jenna who was picking up the empty mugs that our last customers had left behind before either heading home or going to their evening class. She met my gaze for a split second before looking away.

I folded my arms over my chest and tilted my head to the side, wondering what Tyler saw in her. It was no doubt that she was gorgeous, and she definitely had that charm that possessed anyone do what she wanted. Hell, I'd even fallen for her charm, that's why I took her shift so that she could could go to that show (though I really took her shift so that she could fuck my boyfriend behind my back). But there had to be something else, some other reason why he chose her over me. And maybe it had nothing to do with her. But something to do with me.

You're a really bad liar and lying to yourself is what made you so unhappy in the first place.

Maybe Joe was right. Maybe I needed to stop lying to myself and embrace the truth. It wasn't a matter of not knowing what the truth was. I knew the truth, I just didn't want to admit it, I wasn't ready to. And for what? A relationship that didn't exist anymore? A relationship that was too far gone to be brought back?

I heaved a sigh and closed the cash register, taking off the half apron from around my waist and tossing it to the side. "Hey, Jenna!"

Her head snapped up.

"Can you close up tonight? I'm not feeling too well." I clutched my stomach and furrowed my eyebrows together in fake pain.

I could see it in her eyes that she didn't want to, but she still felt guilty for what she had done to me. She forced a smile on her face and nodded her head, "Yeah, of course!"

"Thanks," I disappeared into the back and collected my things, walking back out and towards the entrance. I glanced back at her and swallowed the lump in my throat, pushing the door out and leaving.


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