Tales of Stupidity

#3: Why chihuahuas are devil-spawn

For maybe a year or two during Primary school, my mum was in a relationship with someone who lived in Blackpool. It took about two to three hours to get there on a train, depending on how busy it was that day. Every Friday, mum would pick me up from school with a suitcase, and we'd get on the train to Blackpool, and leave on Sunday.

The guy she was with was at work pretty much all day, so me and my mum just walked around the piers or went swimming, or took a walk on the beach. There was always kids playing and building sandcastles, or people doing donkey rides for about five meters down the beach and expecting you to give them £2 each time. And I know that doesn't seem like much, but damn, it adds up.

Anyway, me and my mum were at the beach and it was some time in the evening. We were under one of the piers whilst the tide was out, and we passed a dog-walker, who had a chihuahua puppy and a bigger dog. For some reason, she had decided to keep the little devil dog off the leash.

My mum started up a conversation with the lady because she's a nice person, and as I stood around waiting, I started to notice that the chihuahua was glaring daggers at me with its fangs bared.

I took a step back. It took a step forward.

I turned and started walking away. The furry bastard started following me.

I started to run, and the legs of the little devil whirred and moved so fast you couldn't even see them.

It literally looked like a miniature fluffy running sausage with a head was chasing a little girl. Because that was exactly what it was.

So as I ran away so fast Usain Bolt couldn't have caught me, screaming so loud it could sound like standing next to the school bell for people on the other side of the world, my mum continued on with her boring chat to the owner of the Dog From Hell, completely unaware her favorite daughter was about to get savaged to death.

I tried everything to get away from it. I ran to a circle of beach surrounded by water and stood there, feeling triumphant because I reckoned the demon dog couldn't get to me.

It didn't occur to me that the water was barely three inches deep.

To my absolute horror, it skipped through the water towards me with the most satanic look on its face. It clearly enjoyed my suffering.

After escaping the beast yet again and taking refuge behind my mum (because as we all know, once you hide behind your parent, you're instantly okay), the owner finally got its creature on a leash, which meant I was completely okay and wouldn't have nightmares of being chased by furry devils for the next few years.

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See ya later, my little demons!

-F (admin)