Aries - 'I crashed my motorbike'
Taurus - 'Some idiot forgot to stop for me'
Gemini - 'I'm here with my friend'
Cancer - 'I was cooking soup for my boyfriend and spilled it all over me. I now have third degree burns
Leo - 'Someone called me ugly so I punched them, missed and hit a brick wall'
Virgo - 'Um... I work here'
Libra - 'I had a panic attack'
Scorpio - 'Someone pushed me down stairs'
Sagittarius - 'My toe got run over by one of those old women's motor scooters.'
Capricorn - 'I can't remember'
Aquarius - 'I was walking my mermaid and she pushed me down a well into Narnia'
Pisces - 'I was concentrating too hard'
