Aries - A reality check
Taurus - A line of coke and a karaoke machine
Gemini - A slap and a mood stabiliser
Cancer - A box of tissues and a box of chocolate
Leo - A room without mirrors
Virgo - An Xanax (drug)
Libra - A backbone
Scorpio - To be escorted to hell
Sagittarius - To sit still
Capricorn - A joint
Aquarius - To fucking listen
Pisces - To just chill for a second
