Photograph

Truth||4

This pic is so old. But it's so cute.  *-* But it's for later on in the part. You'll know it when you see it.
Enjoy ❤️

Sitting in her dressing room, I stay quiet as Cheryl and Nicola catch up-she's been on tour since June and now it's August, it's been awhile since they've been together.

What more is there to say? They haven't seen each other for two months and the two of them have missed so much. I can imagine five years.

I've missed so much of Cheryl, I'm almost in awe at the Geordie accent dripping on her words. But she does speak different, her words seem more American English than British English and I can only assume that to being out of the country and in this one so much. America is a huge market for music especially pop music so she's done well with that.

Brayden is just as isolated as I am, moving her seat from Nic, close to me and leaning her head on to my shoulder as I make it severely obvious that I'm still swoon for Cheryl, keeping my eyes on her.

There has to be a reason that she wanted to see me.

"When we leave can we get food?" Brayden looks up at me, her green eyes are interesting. Little specs of yellow floating between larger specs of hazel.

"You're the driver Bray" I smile before I look back at Cheryl who's looking back at me and I shrug slightly before she decides to continue on with the conversation.

The moment was brief, but there's a flicker of jealousy in those cocoa brown eyes and then it disappears.

"Can Cheryl and I talk for a moment? Alone?" I finally say as her scowl floods her face and Brayden and Nicola proceed to walk out, I close the door behind them and that old girl I know is back.

"Kimberley"

I don't know why but she was holding back a laugh.

"How rude of you" Cheryl began smiling and I shrug, feeling the silliness ooze off of her.

I can't help but think this meeting was a little too light hearted. I expected her to throw everything she had at me then kiss me. That wasn't a fantasy, that's usually how all of our arguments went.

"You look so well" Cheryl wants to reach out to pinch my cheek but she restrains herself; I guess I would too. We aren't so close anymore. Everything has changed.

"Same, I guess" It gets her laughing again before she sighs.

It may just be a little dramatic of me, but the sigh feels like she's lost a little interest. There was something definitely not there that was there before. And all from a sigh.

"It's nice to see you. It really is. I have been figuring out a way to see you since you won't go back home- is it because of me? Don't let me prevent you from your mum"

The memories, they just hurt. And that sounds awful-but they do. If I stepped in the place that I only spent my years there with Cheryl I will be ripped from the inside out. There's nothing more for me there anymore, and Cheryl living there herself will definitely ensure the demise of me.

Again dramatic of me.

"I'll be seeing her soon"

I lie and she knows, the only one who can pick up on my lies, but she doesn't press further. Cheryl's brown eyes seem dull but intrigued to stare at me. It's just so weird no one knows that to say.

"You've been trying five years to see me? What does it mean now that you've seen me?"

Very Kimberley of me to bring that back up but it's true.

Her eyes look at everything in the room, the white lightbulbs around the mirror, the small brown bear wearing a white Miami Heat Basketball jersey sitting on a stand and even the vent in the ceiling.

"I just"

I follow her eyes again, this time looking at the gold chain around my neck then she begins to look down at the maroon carpet.

"Cheryl, what's wrong?"

She relaxes the muscles in her shoulders before she shakes her head. Cheryl is visibly distraught, far from upset and I hate that I put her in this position.

"For five years, I've told myself that seeing you would make it all better. And seeing you is quite wonderful but it doesn't make any of it better. It doesn't fix all of those restless nights or the mornings where I could barely get out of bed because I wanted to cry again and again. And I hate it all. All of it"

"Do you hate me?" I ask selfishly. I shouldn't have even said it.

Cheryl's fingers wipes her sweaty palms on her gray tee before she makes sure to look at me.

"Maybe, maybe I do. I don't think so but you destroyed me. And I know you said that you did it for me but it sure doesn't feel that way. I thought that maybe after all this time, I can let you back in my life but certainly not like this. I'm still not over you and having you will not help me get over you."

My eyes widen but I don't press further, nothing I will say will help her. Cheryl has already tossed the truth in to the atmosphere, so I stand still waiting for further instruction.

My regret of breaking up with her is even more regretful and it makes me feel that I'm going to do something stupid when I finally leave her in this dressing room. Very stupid and uncharacteristic of me.

"I'll leave" I finally mutter as my left foot is inching against my right calf and she covers her soggy cheeks with her little hands.

"Don't leave, again"

"You hate me why would you want me here?"

I try to choose my words carefully, I'm such a master at that.

"Because...just" Cheryl exhales deeply as I close my eyes. My own pain doesn't match the one I left her she's carrying internally. It makes me feel worse. Just horrible.

"Can we ever be like this again?"

Her hand stuffs into her black sweats, pulling out a small photograph, placing it in my hand.

A silence introduces itself to us both for about ten minutes, I listen to the girl I can't console as I stare at a picture of Cheryl and I genuinely smiling for a photo at my brother's sixteenth birthday party.  There's a glimmer in both of our eyes, one that's not present now.

"Alright, you can leave now"

I nod, placing the photo on her lap before stuffing my hands in my pocket, head down as I begin to look for Brayden so we can go home. Another place filled with a memory of Cheryl and I won't be coming back here.

"Hey, you ready-hey what's wrong?" Brayden lifts up my chin, there are no tears just an irrational fear that it's over between Cheryl and I.

Who am I kidding it is over.

"I'm just hungry" My smile only shows up half on my face as Brayden puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her as we begin what seems like a long journey to my suv.

"Don't forget about me" Nic runs after us as I look up at the stars, hoping they can show me what to do next with my life.