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5||Worse

"What am I going to do?"

Looking up at Nic, she's no good for answers because she shrugs and squeezes my cheeks before I let out a sigh.

"Stop crying first" Her fingers wipe my damp cheeks before she kisses them.

"Alright I'll try-isn't this better for me to cry instead of hitting the bottle?"

"Right now, yes"

Rolling my eyes, I turn my head away from her as I see Brayden fast asleep on the floor. She was not instructed to sleep there but instead she fell off my bed. I'm not sure what it is with everyone sleeping in my bed but I needed the comfort last night and the three nights before.

I close my eyes trying to go back to sleep but it's no use as I begin to remember Cheryl asking me can we ever go back to how we were before. And I didn't have an answer and then I left. So there's that.

I pull the gold chain still on my neck, my stomach is bare and my bra is barely hanging on to the latch, but I move away from Nic and eventually out of the bed. I needed to clear my head desperately.

Grabbing a thin peach blouse, I slide back into my black skinny jeans and grab a black leather jacket. My shoes of choice are some black Vans I wear all the time and I headed out to my motorcycle, pulling the maroon helmet over my head before Nicola stumbles out.

"I am so going" The sunlight illuminates her blue eyes making them more vivid and more full of light than they already are.

"You have to stay with Bray" My fingers flip up the visor so I can look at her without a chrome tint.

"Your girlfriend will be fine"

My hand smacks against one of the handles before I pull my helmet off in pure frustration. Majority of it has to do with Cheryl and I, but I don't make it about us when I speak to Nic.

"You have to stay with her, I don't want anything to happen to her either"

"Either?" Nicola crosses her arms as my teeth clench together.

"I don't wanna lose two people I care about"

Nicola just nods, picking up my helmet to put it back on my head. She knows that I'm losing it and she's just letting me go.

The ride is as fast as I need it, the wind ripping through my hair as I beg every light to stay green. There are people who stop to try to identify the face behind the visor but I ride by, casually making my way around Miami, no set destination in mind.

Sometimes I wish the weather would match my mood, the rain would pour for eternity right now like the tears that stream down my cheeks. My hands rev the engine and I go faster down this non residential street, somehow someway I was no longer in that lively city.

The thoughts of Cheryl are heavy and I try to swarm them away but they won't go away.

Is she in bed crying or is she out enjoying her day? Is she drinking away the day? Is she in the studio writing the day away? Has she moved on? Is it time for me? Is Cheryl thinking about me?

Because I am thinking of her.

There's no one else in front or in back of me. That's when I realize I'm no longer on the road, it's too late for me to stop now and I stop accelerating but my motorcycle does not have enough time nor space to stop quickly before it rams into the nearest tree.