I'm Saying Goodbye

Chapter 6

"Tell me what Jay said is a lie, tell me you didn't sleep with Roman's brother?" Erin begged her over coffee, word had travelled fast through the 21st. The rumor mill was strong for sure.

Kim sighed, "I did" she stirred the sugar into her coffee, "and I've regretted it ever since" she could only blame it on the slight buzz she had that night. It was a piss poor excuse, but she didn't know how else to explain it.

"Blows my mind Kim, it's not like you" she told her, "have you spoken to Adam at all?"

It had been two weeks since the incident and Kim knew Adam was avoiding her, he had become almost invisible.

She wished she was.

The looks her fellow officers gave her made her skin crawl, as if they all lived saintly lives.

"I was hurt, angry, and a little drunk" Kim admitted, "I wish I could take it back. When I woke up the next morning realized and it wasn't an awful dream that I had slept with Seth" she trailed off.

"It's bad Kim, I won't lie. It's not unforgivable though" she finished her muffin, "you really need to talk to Adam. The sooner the better"

Kim smirked, "He hates me. I hurt him, in a way that I don't think we can come back from"

Erin shook her head, "He came to me a few days before everything went sideways, he wanted to get you back. Kim, he's got serious hang ups with marriage but it's not because he's afraid of making a commitment, it's because he's afraid he'll mess it up"

Kim was shocked, "He told you that?" He had never shared any of that with her, "he's never told me any of that"

Erin felt uncomfortable that he admitted it to her and Jay but not his fiancé "I think he was embarrassed before and when you called it off it made him think long and hard"

"I ruined it"

"No. You didn't" Erin told her, "You made a mistake, but he's going to find it in his heart to forgive you. He's the one who started all of this by not being honest with you or himself"

Sean and Seth sat at the bar, "So, Kim how is she?" Seth asked unable to kick her from his head.

Sean downed the remains of his beer, "Not good man, not good"

"What happened?"

Sean arched an eyebrow, "It's kind of my fault but you can't be pissed, it was an accident. I didn't know he was in the locker room. I swear man"

Seth grew uneasy, "Who?"

"Adam, her ex" Sean confessed, "I may have let it slip that you two hooked up and he heard it"

"Damn it Sean!" Seth grumbled, "I swear you have the biggest fucking mouth"

Sean laughed, "I know I'm sorry. You're into her, aren't you?"

Seth rolled his eyes, "I like her, a lot." He admitted, but he knew her heart belonged to her ex, "but she's still hung up on that Adam guy"

Sean happened to glance over his shoulder, "well, speak of the devil"

Seth looked towards the door, "That him?"

Sean nodded his head, "Just be cool, I got it under control"

"I'm a big boy I can handle it, if he even comes over"

Sean laughed at him, "Oh, he will. He'll probably kick your ass too" he smirked as he dug in the bowl of mixed nuts.

Seth eyed him, "you seriously just touched every fucking nut in that bowl it's gross" he laughed.

"Hey Roman?" Adam asked, "you got a minute?" He needed to talk to him.

Sean nodded, "I do"

"Not you" Adam corrected him, "you." His finger pointed at Seth.

Sean got up from the stool, "Uh, Adam I don't know if that's a good idea" he looked between the two men both their faces set in stone, their jaws clenched.

He felt as if he was in a standoff between two alpha males.

Adam's features softened, "Sean, I'm fine. I just need to talk to.."

"Seth, my name's Seth"

"Seth" Adam finished.

"It's fine Sean, don't worry so much" Seth said as he followed Adam outside.

"Alright, what is it?" Seth asked him.

"I want to talk about Kim"

That much was obvious Seth thought to himself, "About that I'm really sor..."

Adam stopped him, "No, that's not it" he explained, "Whatever happened between you two is none of my business" the words felt like tiny knives slicing his throat as he spoke them, "She's an amazing woman, she deserves the best of everything. I wanted to give her that but I fucked up" he leaned against the wall, hoping to keep his emotions in check, "You better do right by her, I swear if you hurt her, I'll kill you" his words firm.

"Adam, she regretted it all. She was beside herself the next morning" he admitted, as much as he wanted to throw it in Adam's face and act is if they had something going on he couldn't. He could be a prick but not that big of one.

"Whatever, I'm telling you don't hurt her" he left, unable to share the same air with the man. He didn't hate him, not by any means but it still hurt like hell.

Kim had just finished dressing when she heard the locker room door open, and Adam's voice filled the air.

"Yea, alright" Adam said, "thanks Pops, I'll see you later"

She wanted to hide, she didn't want to face him but once he turned the corner she had no choice.

"Hi" she spoke first, her voice soft.

He smiled at her, "Hey" he hated what had become of them, "you doing okay?"

Kim glared at her feet, "I guess" her eyes rising to meet his, "you?"

He shrugged, "Not really"

Her heart ached, "I'm so sorry, you don't know how sorry I am" she could feel tears spring to her eyes.

"Really Kim, it's alright" he was dying to touch her, to feel her soft skin under his.

She wiped her eyes, "No, it's not alright. I hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you" she couldn't fight the tears any longer, "it meant nothing, I know it doesn't change anything but it meant nothing"

Adam straddled the bench his hand falling on her knee, "I was the one who screwed everything up" he told her.

She turned to face him, her hand covering his, "don't do that, this is all my fault. Not yours"

He reached up and wiped the tears from under her eyes, he started to lean in his lips hovering inches from her's.

The slamming of the locker room door, causing him to whip his head around "Shit, I'm sorry bro" Kevin said.

"It's okay Kev" Kim said as she gathered her things and left the locker room.

"I'm sorry Adam"

Adam smiled, "it's fine Kevin. Really it is"

He knew then he would do whatever it took, he was getting her back.

----NOTE---

Unedited.

Two maybe three chapters left.

Damn you Kevin!