Love or hate me (Dan Howell x reader)

Chapter 4.5

A/n
OMG PLEASE DONT HATE ME!!
Writers block was major man but I'm back thank god.. I think? This chapter has a trigger warning it brings up child abuse, rape, harassment, self harm and suicide. Things take a DEEP turn.
Hope you enjoy!

Your Pov:
Instantly all the memories come back of your adoption father and how you acted like him at school, how he hurt you. You distracted from your mind when you hear banging on the door. "Who is it?" You ask through the door,
"It's Dan, I have to go but go get your stuff and Phil will explain everything to you. See you in the morning!" He calls back. Get my stuff? See you in the morning? What was he on about. I decide to clean everything up and walk out. "Phil?" Who called,
"In the kitchen!" He yelled back. When you got into the kitchen you saw Phil with a letter in his hand and he was reading it. "What was Dan on about?" You ask him feeling a little worried "take a look for your self.." He says as he hands me the piece of paper. "What!?" You say a little to loudly, making Phil jump, the letter was about not paying the bills.

-flashback-

You dial you best friends number, "hi, so about your old flat in London, I wanna take it!" You say.
"Ok I'll call the landlord and tell him you've accepted and don't worry the bills have been paid for the rest of this year!" She says but she sounds a little evil in her words, you shrug it off and carry on the conversation.

-reality-

"That idiot! She lied?" You yell hitting the wall. "Listen, Dan and I agreed that you can stay here until you get on your feet again," he said as a smile approached my face. "Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" I say giving him a tight hug and I went to get the stuff from my old flat.

Phils pov:

Y/n gave me a hug and quickly walked out the room and I just chuckled to myself. I write a quick note saying I was in the shower and put it on the side. I walk into the bathroom to see a blood covered blade on the floor and just then I here the flat door open. I pick up the little silver object and remember when Dan explained about her and her cutting. "Y/n? I need to talk to you!" I call rushing out of the bathroom. She looks over to me and smiles until she sees what's in my hand and she gasps and looks to the floor looking embarrassed and guilty. "I know what's going on, Dan explained." I said and she looked up at me without making eye contact, "I'm throwing this away, we can talk later when Dan gets home but for now let's get your bedroom sorted."

Skip if the time 😏

Your pov:

"Finally done!" You yell falling into your new bed as Phil chuckles. "I guess Dan won't be home till late so I'm of to bed." He said "night" I said "goodnight y/n" he said back and I went into my room and grabbed my laptop and just scrolled through tumblr. I hear the front door open and I check the time '02:37' I think to myself. I won't where Dan actually went so you get off of your bed and head into the living room to see a drunk Dan with an dark look in his eye. "Your still here?" He mumbled loudly [if that even makes sense? xD] "yea you said I could stay, and I'm sorry for earlier I panicked." You say walking towards him " get out of my home you bitch!" He says while slapping my phone out of my hand and pushing me out the door. "But-" you try to question him but he slams the door in you face. You try calling him but he doesn't pick up and you never got phils number. You sit there and all the memories of your adoption dad come back again.

-flashback-

"I wish I never adopted you, you little bitch!" My drunk adoption dad yells as he chucks his empty beer bottle at me as it cut my sides. "Get out of my house. NOW!" He yells again while grabbing my arm and pushed me into the streets. I see a bit of glass on the floor and start to cut my arms. I need this. I deserve this. I walk over to a bench and fell asleep on it.

-end of flashback-

Dans pov:

I wake up with a pounding headache. I walk into the living room and hear quite sobs coming behind the front door, I open it and my eyes widen I shock...

Cliff hanger... I bet you hate me so much for this don't you? Well expect the rest tomorrow afternoon since I have school.. Ugh.. See you in my next chapter bye! X

A/n ok so I was reading this back and realised that it doesn't make sense from the last chapter. Oops so just imagine that it was Dan knocking on the door and Phil didn't say anything in the last chapter and when the knocking on the door happened last chapter it is when Dan knocked on the door this chapter. Make sense? Hopefully! Sorry bye!