REWIND: Tampered (Youtube FanFiction)

Chapter Four

"It hurts"

Day 3 – Saturday
11:46PM

||Dawn Watson Created At Dusk)||

I can't stand another minute of watching Stephanie cry her heart out like this. Her face is all red and she can hardly breathe. I don't even think she can feel the pain of the wound the bullet left on her. How could she? All she can feel is despair right now—utter agony because of what had happened to Matt. She doesn't want to hear anyone say it. She doesn't want to accept it. Fuck, I don't want to say it, either.

This night was planned out to end nicely. Not like this. Not with Matt gone. Not with Stephanie injured and crying. This isn't fair! Fuck, how could this happen?!

I excuse myself before leaving Stephanie in her hospital room, still crying and refusing to rest. I know I should stay with her, comfort her, but I'm too full with rage to say anything that can help her. Besides, she has been asking me to go back to their place, get my stuff and stay at Nate's for now because she doesn't want to burden me with staying in the house alone. And I don't want to mention anything about what had happened—not even his name. Stephanie's cries already feel like daggers.

I leave her room just to stand outside and breathe. I lean against the door as I look around; I'm in a hospital because my friend is injured and her husband is dead. No, he was murdered. I slam my fist against the wall to my right. Fuck! No!

I could feel my body tremble and weaken. Just as I was about to slide myself down, I hear someone else sobbing. I turn to my left and see Nate, already sitting on the floor a few feet away from me. He has his phone up to his ear and is crying and mumbling. I can't help him, either. His friend is gone and I never imagined I would be able to watch this grown man quiver in tears just after I met him.

"Fuck, this can't be happening," I could hear him say to whoever he was talking to, "It all happened so fast... Matt's gone... He's really gone... Fuck, oh my god, Morgan..."

Morgan. Who that is, I don't and I couldn't care less about it right now. I sigh—he's lucky to have someone to talk to right now. I pull my phone out and try to call my friend but I end up just staring at the screen. I have Dan Howell's phone number staring back at me, waiting for me to hit the button... but I couldn't. I could do the same to Phil Lester's number but I still can't do it. I can't call them.

I can't call anyone, not while I'm like this. Not while I'm breaking down like a lost child. I then finally slide down to sit on the cold tiles. I finally break, raising my hands up to either side of my head, not even minding the bandage still attached to my gash. This isn't happening. Matt's not dead. Matthew Patrick is not dead.

I drop my phone to the ground as I clutch a handful of my hair with both hands. Please, fuck, let this be a bad dream! "Goddamn it! Fuck! NO!" I scream as hot tears begin to fall, my entire body shaking. "No, please no! Stephanie! Matthew!"

I bang my head against the door behind me, barely even feeling the pain the action brought me. He can't be dead. This can't be real. Please, someone, anyone, wake me the fuck up!

As I'm sobbing, I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, comforting me. I look sideways immediately to see Nate crouching next to me, his head down and still crying. I stare at him and the urge to wail gets worse. No words are spoken between us but we both cry harder. His grip on my shoulder gets tighter as we mourn our friend's death. This is too surreal.

That's when I notice a video playing on Nate's phone. My sobs soften as I look closer, before I actually reach out to take it. Nate doesn't protest against it. Instead, he looks up and keeps his eyes on the screen and keeps one hand on his phone. Nate and Matt's last vlog together is playing. It had just started, around the time they finished that goddamn parody introduction. We could see Matt smiling at the camera, directly at us, the sides of his lips shaping his cheeks just to make that signature bright grin. It's too painful to watch and yet, we can't stop looking at it. Matt's last memory that we have, right in our hands. Matt's last few laughs and jokes, all in one video.