The Aristocats Collection

Chapter 20

(Yay! In celebration of the twenties the chapter, I bring to you a SUPER juicy special edition: Paris' diary!!!)

Dear Diary,
Today, Mummy was sad. She said that Uncle Berlioz would never find love. That was sad. Lanc and I practiced our song we are writing when we got home from school: Red Roses. I have to say, Lanc is awesome with that violin or whatever he plays. Today I found a cousin I never knew about named Hillary. She is my grandpa Thomas' brother's grandchild. Hillary was really nice and she said that I was really cute. Well, you gotta admit, I am! Not to brag or anything. She is so so so so nice! She is the nicest person ever. I love her so much! Also in private school, we had a test today. Ugh! Is it my fault I fail in the Living Wild class? Um, hello! Aristocats don't NEED to learn to live wild. And, hey, does it really matter to fail anyway?
Sincerely,
Paris
Dear Diary,
My teacher in the Living Wild class, Miss Blanchard, is going to tell Mummy about me failing! She even announced to the WHOLE class that I was failing! This mean kid, Alfie, who is really tough, snickered at me and called me a frail little mouse! Of course I got mad. But I was glad because right after that class is Musical Masterpieces. Lanc is in that one too. We showed the whole class our song Red Roses. Mr. Hadley loved it! The song goes like this:
I would walk among the garden. happy as could be
When thoughts and memories came back to me
I picked a red rose when I was just a little kitten
The red rose thorned and it was like I was bitten!
It was a beautiful flower, no harm come to me
At least that's what I thought, before I could see
I noticed the red drops, gathering round my paw
It was the most scary thing I had ever saw!
The rose said to I, Why Can't You See,
I'm Here In This Garden With My Family
If You Pick Me And Hold Me Like You Have No Sense
See, I Have To Have A Form Of Unseen Defense.

Sincerely,
Paris

Dear Diary,
I am was glad it's Friday. Miss Blanchard is so mean! I am so scared. I have detention. DETENTION! Miss Blanchard doesn't see me writing in my diary. She is abusing me! I am in a metal box. Sound proof, so I can't hear anything even I myself says. I can't even move! What's worse, Miss Blanchard threw the key BEHIND me! She wants to drive me insane trying to get it! I can't move at ALL! I am so...
I hope Miss Blanchard feels bad. I am
CRYING right now! SEE THE TEARS! I am going to tell Mummy! I am getting Miss B FIRED! I HATE
HER! SHE IS SO MEAN! I WANT TO...
I WON'T EVEN SAY WHAT I WANT TO
DO TO HER! I AM SCARED TO DEATH!
NEARLY DEATH! MUMMY, SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Diary,
Miss Blanchard is keeping me in this Box all WEEKEND! Mummy is probably worrying herself to death! She has no idea where I am! Miss Blanchard is technically kidnapping me! She is SO going DOWN! Just because I failed! It is All. Her. Fault. It is now Saturday, I think! I would KNOW if dumb Miss Blanchard let me GO!!! I am telling myself a story. I can't hear them, so I'll write it.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived in PARIS. She was happy, until she started falling. The evil queen Blank Shard captured her in a CRAMPED SOUNDPROOF METAL BOX!
Hmm, that story sounds FAMILIAR...oh yeah! I AM captured in a tiny metal box!!!!!!
SAVE ME DIARY!
PaRiS

Dear Diary,
I think it is Sunday. I AM GOING INSANE! Save me, diary! Mummy is probably TERRIFIED! She probably thinks I was eaten by a snake named BLANCHARD! And what's worse, I am SO not peeing on myself in here! I am almost DYING holding it! OMG! I just remembered! Mummy and Miss Blanchard had a meeting together last week to talk about my grades...what if they planned this?! OH NO! Mummy is scaring me to death! I am HORRIFIED! Someone save me from this BOX!!!
I AM NOW LEGALLY INSANE!
PARIS!!!!!!!

Dear Diary,
WOOHOO! I am OUT! Turns out Mummy planned the WHOLE thing to get my survival grades up! I am SO MAD AT HER! Wait--I think I am still insane! Was I just happy and then I totally reverted to angry narwhal mode? Huh? I am SO CONFUSED! I hate Mummy! I love her! Wait no, I hate her! I love--
STOP IT, PARIS!
Wait--am I stopping myself? Talk about MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES! Uh oh--do I have MPD? Multiple Personality Disorder? Wait, that is a SEVERE problem! This fancy, beautiful Aristocat is too beautiful to do that! Wait, huh? I love Mummy. No, I hate her. No I LOVE HER STOP ARGUING WITH MYSELF! Okay, bye diary. I am going to talk to myself.
PAAAARRRIS!

Dear Diary,
I am no longer insane. But I am still physically and mentally damaged from learning that my mother consented to locking me in a soundproof metal BOX. I mean, why didn't she lock one of my OTHER siblings in a box? Lanc is really, really CLOSE to failing! I mean, not actually failing, but, like, THREE POINTS AWAY! Remember, this person is my genetic MOTHER! And she WANTED me to be locked in a BOX to bring up my grades? Come on! UGH!
Mad As FIRE,
Paris