Things I'll Never Say

Caught Red Handed

Immediately, all the thoughts that I had pushed aside that day came rushing at me at once and I started to question my sanity even more. How could I not realize I was late? Was I really in that much of a daze over a course of a month? Was that even possible? I just sat in the chair speechless, to overwhelmed to say anything

"We'll give you the shot just to be safe. But I would get tested so you know for sure. You want to make sure you are under a doctor's care if you are pregnant," the nurse said, cleaning a spot on my arm with a disinfectant wipe.

She administered the shot and I didn't even notice. I hated shots; I was scared of them.

"Alright, you are free to go, Mrs. Johnson," the nurse said cheerfully, gesturing an arm to the way out.

I stood up, still in complete shock, and walked back into the regular area of the shopping centre, making a direct turn to the pregnancy tests. Quickly taking three just to be certain, I went back to the check out lines. I knew I had other groceries I needed, but I couldn't seem to remember them. All that was on my mind was this sudden reality check; and I didn't want to face reality at the moment.

While waiting in line, I tried to divert my attention my watching the small television screen overhead. The local news was on, discussing polution levels in our area, when all of a sudden a breaking news headline flashed on.

"The investigation of Mr. Michael Johnson has official been announced as a court case with serious charges that could result in major fines and years in prison. Again, if you have any information regarding this case, please contact the local authorities."

Finally, everything I had been denying and making excuses for was proving me wrong. It all hit me so fast that it became too overwhelming to handle and I felt my insticts take over as I rushed out of the shopping center with only one thought in mind: get home before anyone recognizes you.

Everything else was a blur. I found my feet moving my body instead of my mind consciously choosing to move my feet; I don't think I ever ran quite so fast in my life. In a matter of seconds, I had run clear out of the grocery story and was on the sidewalk on my way back home. I knew I had to be getting a ton of strange looks from everyone who had seen me, but I didn't really care. All I wanted was for my life to be normal; but I knew that was never going to happen, especially not now.

I cleared my eyes just enough to cross the street before they became clouded with tears again. Luckily, our house was the second one in on the street, so I was able to instinctively walk up the steps without needing to pay much attention to what I was doing. Making my way up our familiar three steps, I pulled out my keys from my purse, starting to have a complete breakdown because I couldn't hold it in any longer. I stuck the key in the door and thought I was finally alone when all of a sudden I was caught of guard by the yelling of a man's voice,"Hey, Demi! So this is where you live!"

I spun around and saw no other than John, pulled up by the curb in his nice sports car, waving out the window.

"Can't talk now, John. I'm busy," I called out, turning back around and fumbling to open the door.

All of a sudden, I heard the engine turn off and a car door shut, followed by the sound of John's voice called out again,"Hey, are you okay? What happened?"

I could hear him approaching up the drive and I knew I could no longer just ignore him. Turning around, I slid down the front door and sat on the front step with my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around the top of my legs. "No, John, nothing's okay. Everything is so wrong right now and I can't take it."

Even though I couldn't see, I could feel John's body slowly sit down next to mine as he wrapped his arm around me and said,"do you want to talk about it?"