-I can't thanks you guys enough
-Lauren M/M
Lauren-
"I'm pregnant",I'm whispered to myself as I look into the mirror.
I finish washing my face and brushing my teeth before walking out the bathroom.I didn't know how to feel was this a good thing or bad thing,was this going to help us,Am I ready for another baby.These questions I been asking myself since lastnight and early this morning.
I went downstairs see Black and Lance eating at the table.They were talking to each other which was the cutest thing ever.
"Hey mommas baby",I cooed walking over to Lance kissing me.Which made him laugh.
"Morning baby",I said kissing Black on the lips.
"Morning".
I was sitting there eating and I start getting sick to my stomach.I ran to the bathroom and threw up.I was hungry and I couldn't even eat.I went upstairs and brush my teeth again.
I had my doctor appointment this week and I was actually nervous.I'm having this feeling if it's all worth it.I'm trying not to stress myself out but never in a million years I would have thought that I would be having another baby,almost going through a divorce everything.
It's taking alot and I'm just trying to figure it all out.I started to cry and as soon as I heard Lance and Black I wipe my face.
"What you doing",Black asked.
I turn around and smiled but I guess he knew something wasn't right.
"What's up why you look like you been crying",He said putting Lance down.
"Nothing",my voice cracked.
He walk toward me and grab my hands.
"If you feeling anyway about the pregnancy we can work on this together.You not alone their no I in team.I love you",He said then kissing my forehead.
I nodded as I let the tears fall.I don't know if I was overwhelmed or shocked about this all.I have my husband that's willing to work on this together.
All I'm have to do is pray about it.
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The next couple days went by pretty well.The morning sickness wasn't no joke and I couldn't stand it.I only could eat certain things and half the time I couldn't get that.
I had told Sasha and her ass was extra excited.She told me I was having a girl but I don't think know cause with Lance I didn't have morning sickness and that pregnancy went well.
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Today we had a session with Dr.Thomas.We haven't seen her since when we came back from vacation and I got sick so it been almost three weeks since we last seen her.She has Skype with us and emails but I haven't told her about the pregnancy.I really value her opinion on this situation so I can't wait to see what she has to say.
"Babe",Black yelled.
"In the kitchen".
I heard his steps.He came in slap my ass and kiss me on my neck.
"What you doing"?He asked
"Making breakfast before we leave out".
"You smell good",He said smiling me and kissing my neck.
"Babe I'm feeling this color too",He said touching my new hair color.
I giggled and then told him to move go I could finish breakfast.Black is showing more affection toward me which I really appreciate.
After eating and everybody getting ready we drop Lance off at Sasha's so him and Skylar could play together.
We made it to Dr. Thomas office and sign in and waited until our name was called.
"Hey guys, Lauren how are you feeling",Dr.Thomas ask as we walk in.
"Hey and I'm feeling alot better.Morning sickness is getting to me",I said with a smile.
She smiled big as well and told us congratulations.
"So let's get started,so how has everything been since founding out you are expecting",Dr.Thomas ask.
"Well at first I was scared,nervous, confused".
"Why",Dr.Thomas ask.
"Umm because with everything going on was we actually ready for a baby.Could we handle this on top of our problems we already have.Is this going to stress us out".
She nodded and write everything I said down.
"Rashad how did you feel when she told you about the pregnancy",Dr.Thomas ask.
"Umm at first excited we having another baby,another lil me.I couldn't ask for anything more.When seeing how Lauren was crying and being emotional about it I knew something wasn't right",Black spoke.
"Meaning"?
"What I felt from it was her being disappointed about getting pregrant again".
I totally didn't agree with him on that.I don't think I was disappointed I was just shock.
"Lauren how did you really feel"?
"I was just shock",I said keeping it simple.
"Okay",She said writing everything down.
After our session Black had to check on the club so we went there.
"So you not going to say nothing",Black said then look over at me and back at the road.
"What do you want me say".
"Lauren if you don't want this baby just say it.Ill give you abortion money".
I look at him and wanted to slap the shit out of him but I was trying to get keep my hands to myself.
"Are you fucking serious Rashad",I damn near scream.
"First lower your voice.You acting like it not me I'm excited you pregnant and told you this a million times that I'm here",He spoke.
We pulled up and he park.He look over at me.
"What".
"I'm trying to figure out what's going on".
"Nothing I'm excited but it's just we wasn't in a good place and now I'm pregnant it's just alot",I said.
"I understand that",Black said.
"Do you really because "I give you abortion money doesn't sound like it'I said quoting him.
"I'm sorry for say that but I'm have this feeling my wife doesn't want to have my baby.How does that make me feel"?,He said looking at me.
"Black that not what it is I just felt like we in a bad place right now and what would a baby actually do for us",I said with tears in my eyes.
I didn't want my husband to think I didn't want to have his baby cause I do but the place were in isn't the best right now.I personally don't want to bring a baby into this situation.
He rub his hands over his face and sigh.
" I don't know what you want me to do Lauren.Im trying to be supportive but I don't know",He said shaking his head.
"I'm telling you now I dont want abortion".................
-S/O to all the new people that's following me and just start reading this book.
-I might update again cause it's snowing crazy where I live at and I'm not leaving the house.
-COMMENT, VOTE, FOLLOW ME!!!!!
