Unwanted Feelings

C H A P T E R 12

WOW THANK YOU FOR 100 VOTES ON THIS SORRY WOW. OKAY.

I also call her Bimbo bc I forgot what her actual name was..

Anyways, hope you enjoy iA I am updating so much lately.

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One thing I wondered was why would people give me weird looks? Did they think we were dating or something?

As if. As if I'd ever end up with a player like that. He's haram, these thoughts are haram.

before I knew it I was running away. I ran away the second his eyes met mine. I knew he already could see the hurt and pain in my eyes and he didn't deserve to see it anymore. The bell rang, I couldn't bear to go to class right now. So I went to the only place campus guards wouldn't catch me- the garden.

It wasn't beautiful. It was abandoned. Nobody ever went here anymore.

I leaned against a pot, and felt tears coming. I shouldn't be crying, I shouldn't be feeling my heart being smashed into pieces as the image of them kissing filled my mind. I put my knees to my head and quietly sobbed, begging Allah to help me.

"Sara?" Chase asks. Oh, crap. I quickly hid my face.

"Why are you crying?" He asks, concerned.

"Why do you care?!" I snap.

"I think I should ask you why do you care who I kiss?" He snaps back.

"I don't care!"

"If you didn't why would you be crying?!"

God, what an idiot.

"B-Because! Just..never talk to me again!"

"Sara.."

"Go! I don't want to be friends with a guy like you."

He pauses for a moment, "Well, I never knew you out of all people would be judgemental." He spat out bitterly before leaving.

I stayed there. I stayed and sat there until the last bell rang, until the sun began to set.

Until my stomach began to grumble.

Only taking a break to pray.

I got up and walked to Mary's house, attempting to do so before the sun set completely.

Once I finally, reached I knocked on the door. Mary opened it, in her pink striped Pajama bottoms, pink tank top and a mask on her face.

"Sara! There you are, where the hell were you?" She asks.

I look down as my shoulders began to shake silently,tears forming.

"Sara!" She quickly pulled me into a hug. "Is this about Chase?"

I nod, not wanting to say anything.

"Listen to me," she says, holding me at arms length, "If there was one thing I learned about Islam, it would be that there is a reason for everything and God has a plan. So maybe this is a little bump in the rode, but you have a bright future ahead of you. After pain and sorrow comes happiness, but you can't have one happen without the other."

I stayed at her house for a couple hours, eating ice cream and watching a movie while snuggling with my best friend.

I felt horrible when I got home, I didn't tell anyone where I was. My mom rushed to me. "Hebla! Where were you?" She yelled, obviously mad and worried.

"I-"

"Oh calm down, Basma. Give the girl some space."

"Excuse you, mother but this is my daughter the last time I checked!" Mom exclaimed to grandma.

"Mama! It's okay, I can explain. It's really simple actually. I was at school late and then went to Mary's." I said, her face softens. "Without even calling?" She asks.

I looked down. "It was a bad day.." my mom envelopes me in a hug and I feel all my stress and worried float away as I hug the person I love the most.

I go into my room, ripping off my hijab and prepared to take off my bra and sleep when I see Jamila on my bed.

"Hello, sister." She greets, laying her head on her palm.

"Hi.." I reply uneasily.

"What's wrong?"

"Why would you even ask that? Nothing's wrong."

"I know something happened..was it Chase?"

I stare at the ground fidgeting with my fingers, "No.."

"Did he try to touch you? I swear if he did I'll -"

"No! No, Jamie! He wouldn't do anything to hurt me." The world stung to say, he did hurt me. A lot.

She nods, "I'll talk to  you soon, Sister."

Why does She keep calling me sister??

I changed into my pajamas and sunk into bed, a 100% ready for sleep.

May Allah forgive me for already planning how I'm going to fake being sick to stay home tomorrow.