Unwanted Feelings

C H A P T E R 18

And btw I tried to make this chapter longer for you guys so yay!! (Its still not v long sorry))):

Enjoy inshallah!.

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"You converted?" I asked him, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Officially? No. In my heart? Yes. I need your help, though. I want you there with me, Sara."

"Chase! I'm so happy for you! Inshallah it'll go well. I'll help you all I can, every step of the way" I wanted to hug him more then ever, but I refrained myself, settling for a large smile. He stares at me, and I stare back. The intensity if his gaze..I glance down quickly, ashamed I keep letting that happen.

"I appreciate that.." He said slowly, us both shyly looking down.

"Tell me everything." I say eagerly, trying to break the awkwardness.

"About what?"

I roll my eyes " you converting. How did this all start?"

"Well, you see. A certain girl in a floral maxi skirt got booty bumped on to the floor by someone she called bimbo." He begins, a Scarlet blush creeps on my cheeks

"She was incredibly sassy , and religious and wouldn't let me touch her. She was totally covered. Yet the beauty from her radiated through her face, I didn't know how. It was just how bright her face seemed to shine, she was the most beautiful and special girl I've ever laid eyes on." He goes on.

"Then she said Inshallah, and it was such a beautiful word. I thought so, before I even knew what it meant. Then I learned more words, I just kept learning and learning. I was so hungry, hungry for information. Hungry for answers as to why when talking about Islam, I felt peace. More peace then I ever did."

Tears threaten to fall. This is so beautiful. He's so beautiful, inside and out.

"And let me tell you something about that girl." He said quietly, eyes shining brightly.

"She is the most amazing girl I've ever had the chance to meet. I thank God, every second for giving her to me, as a friend."

"Alhamdulilah." I whisper, tears freely fall.

He doesn't wrap his arms around me. He doesn't try to touch me. And somehow I still felt totally peace.

"How about that English lessen, eh?" He asks, a smile forming on his lips. I nod eagerly, feeling happy and bright, on top of the world.

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It was the weekend before finals, my mind too busy railing with thoughts about everything going on. Chase welcoming Islam, me graduating, the thought of me and Chase together inshallah, Mary and I departing and have I mentioned, chase?

"Girls night! Girls night! Girls night!" Mary exclaimed, I laughed at my best friend. We really should be studying right now..but...

"Netflix has the new episode of Breaking Bad!"

...yeah.

Mary has been acting okay, but I know her in a way she doesn't even know herself.

She was still hurt over that boy.

I didn't know how to comfort her, my lack of experience hurting me in giving her advice, my refusal to gossip about anybody like that making me not the best person to rant about him too. It was hard, I didn't know what to do. I feel like she deserves a better friend than me.

I sigh heavily, Mary. The girl that's there every step of the way with me, who's there no matter what, who makes me laugh when I cry, who picks me up when I fall.

Who glares at a certain brown haired boy when I don't want to meet his gaze.

My heart sweels. I poke her face with my left foot.

"Hey." I say, she glares at me jokingly. "I love you."

She rolls her eyes and slaps my foot down. "Love you more. Idiot." She returns her attention back to the T.V.

I sigh, feeling content. Hanging out with my favorite girl, eating junk food and watching Netflix. All while thinking happy thoughts about mine and chases future.

Things are looking up.

But sadly, the higher you go up..

The farther you fall